Chardonnay’s Stop Drop and Bowl Trail – R*n 1406
21 March 2024 from Taroona Bowls and Community Club
Hare: Can’t Stop
Run Reporter: Chris Miss

Thanks to Chris Miss for stepping up and providing me with a report on the trail and the skols this week

Another Thursday night, another run from Taroona Bowls Club, home of Can’t Stop. Well technically not the home of Can’t Stop as the traditional owners of the lands, known as Taroona were the Aboriginal people of the Derwent Estuary known as the Mouheneener people. So as Can’t Stop gathered the Hashers at 6:32 not 6:31 and was explaining the run he’d set, or was he giving us a welcome to country?? Only Prickit could tell us as she’s the only one who speaks Can’t Stop!

I had no high expectations of the run as seriously it was fairly predictable considering Taroona is like an isthmus, one side a big river and the other a big mountain. He’s tossed the coin – heads right, tails left.  Obviously today he couldn’t decide so runners went right along the river and walkers went left, not before creating much intrigue from the kiddies at the skate park.

Quite quickly Soft Cock and I got separated from the front runners, Pole Dancer, Maximus and Jack Shit. As we ran along the Beach before heading up the first hill, I was able to point out to Soft Cock Taroona is the Aboriginal word meaning sea-shell, more specifically that of chiton. As a newly employed indigenous education leader I think he was suitably impressed. 

The trail soon headed back down to the river and was now at times really hard to find so we were at times back tracking to find trail. We could however hear the hash horn tooting in the distance, so vaguely new we were heading in the right direction. Eventually we ran through Taroona High School where the trail was non-existent, due to the naughty school kiddies who’d rubbed it out.

It was obviously a long walk, as all the runners arrived first to the piss stop. Oh, except for Spoof, who’d clearly taken a short cut. In support of Nancy Boy the bottles of bubbles were popped and Maximus, Pole Dancer, Jack Shit, Soft Cock and Spoof all grabbed a rather large cup and gave a toast to Nancy Boy. It was a clear statement that bubbles at hash IS NOT A GIRLS-ONLY DRINK!

Back at the Bowls Club there was a range of pizzas for dinner. A rowdy Lip session followed, delivered by GM Soft Cock. Most Hashers then left, but like the old days a small group kicked on late into the evening. Should Know (the Bartender) was happy to stay open as it meant he could watch the footy and drink beer. He thrashed Spoof in a game of 8 ball. Spoof was heard to say “Well that was a quick game” and Should Know replied, “That’s youth”. Spoof had to shout the bar which thrilled Herr Flick, Soft Cock and Jack Shit. Pole Dancer had left by this stage as he didn’t want to get caught driving home behind Chris Miss. By the time we left, St Kilda had flogged Collingwood in the footy. Jack Shit had sung the club song and all were claiming a great night at Hash, much to the delight of Can’t Stop.

On On Chris Miss

DOWN DOWNS

• Hare: Can’t Stop.
  Comments re run: Snack Bar stated everyone was confused and there was limited trail around Taroona High School. Growler stated the walk was fabulous. 
• Can’t Stop: the Bartender stated Can’t Stop was doing f*ck all re: setting the run. He spent at least three hours in the car park fart-arsing around.
• Jack Shit: drove to IMAS as he said there was a no entry sign at the entrance to the Bowls Club. He reckons the school kiddies had turned the sign around.
• Early Skol from floor. Pole Dancer to the Eastern Shore SpecSavers group Maximus, Herr Flick, Soft Cock, Jack Shit and Chris Miss. Missing trail and driving the wrong way.
• Arsecutter: as there were no Lips present, the GM approached him to find out who would be doing the Lip session. “Well not me as I’m f*cking off duty!”
• Spoof: came in early to the piss stop and stated “Can’t Stop, where did it go?” Soft Cock reckons Hash Cash should now implement a half run record for those not doing the full trail.
• In The Raw and Herr Flick: while Grizzly is away at the F1 broom-broom’s they want to service Lone Arranger, but we’re fighting over who would get the right and left breasts!

• C*ntry Members: Prickit and Can’t Stop.
• The Bartender: As we’ve done many runs now at the club and Can’t Stop is a member, Soft Cock asked Can’t Stop what’s the Bartender’s name? He stated “I should know” but he couldn’t give a name. The Bartender is now known as Should Know.
• Herr Flick: had eye surgery last week and states he’s blind in one eye, so now is officially a dick head as only has one eye and one head. Further to this he was trying to sell Wee Bev’s old car on Gumtree and was posting photos of the car the day after surgery and included photos from hash last week of Nancy Boy, Hooray and Slippery Nipple. Sold car at a reduced price due to false advertising of the car and it’s human accessories.

From the floor:                    

• Pole Dancer for Should Know: stated Can’t Stop is a club member and won the Melbourne Cup Sweep collecting $15,000 but didn’t tell anyone or collect his money for some time. Where were our free drinks??
• Jack Shit for Herr Flick: as he only has one eye should now only take six drinks to get him p!ssed.
• Uber from the Club: Collingwood take it up the arse (and they did)
• Next Weeks run: Pole Dancer Easter Run 2 Alroy Court Rosetta. Where your best bunny outfit!  In the Raw will do the run report!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 28-30 March 2025 – Aussie Nash Hash 2025 @ Fremantle, WA
• 8-10 May 2026 – Interhash @ Prambanan Mendut, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

All the photos from Run 1406

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.