Chardonnay’s Reddy Steady Look Trail – R*n 1416
30 May 2024 from Kingston Beach RSL
Hares: Red Dress
Run Reporter: Jaffa Wee Bev

Here we are again, back at the Kingston RSL. A popular venue for those living in the vicinity!

There was no rain when we started the trail at 6:31. The Walkers and Runners all set off in the same direction: left from the RSL then down Windsor Street towards the Brown’s rivulet after negotiating a couple of FTs. It was the biggest pack of r*nners we have had for a while: Maxi, Poley, Jack Sh*t, Y2KY Jelly, Prickit, Snacky, Wee Bev, Chris Miss, Hooray & Snacky. Heading back towards the beach along Balmoral Road we passed a pair of rather handsome Blunstone boots all lonesome on the pavement.

Along the Esplanade Poley was lead hasher with a few more checks and FTs keeping us more or less together. There was a bit of confusion after a long FT up Mount Royal Road.  The trail was found at the start of the Kingston Heights track but went right & up the steps leading to St Christophers Way. 

From there we zig-zagged through the streets, with a check on almost every corner… It was the start of the uphill leg and some of us were already flagging so, despite the checks, the runners group began to split into at least two. We popped out on Roslyn Avenue at the junction with Kingston Heights Road. Maxi found a false trail towards Blackmans Bay then the real trail was found up Jindabyne Road, where we did a full loop of Kunama Drive and Wombara Ave.. all the way back to Jindabynne and all the way to the top of the hill to Boronia Hill Reserve… where the reward was another check!

We were pleased to be on the downhill-leg towards Kingston town.  There was a bit of a discussion and some concern about how the walkers might be faring, as we had not seen any signs of a W/R split. Jack Sh!t eased our concerns by indicating that Mr Dress often went out with the walkers and provided them with live shortcuts. Not sure if that was the case, but back at the RSL Spoof said that Prickit’s red flashing light had momentarily attracted him to head up Jindabyne, but he thought twice and headed back to the pub while Morticia got as far as Hutchins Street and shortcut back from there!

After a loop around Red Dress’ workplace we headed down Church St then onto Beach Street and appeared to be heading home.  Turned out we were wrong!  When we got to the Roslyn Road intersection we headed up the stairs and onto Roslyn Road towards Blackmans Bay again… completely the wrong direction as the specks of rain that had been falling started to become more profuse!

I suspect the majority of Hashers took the low road, but for us following trail there was  more bl**dy uphill. Despite a number of checks suggesting otherwise, we kept going up until we reached James Avenue, where we headed down Ewing Lane, across the football oval and home before the rain got too heavy.

Back at the RSL, any concerns for the walkers were eliminated as they all seemed to have got back before us!

Apres Hash, Red Dress provided the best tucker we have had there so far… delicious curries from a local Indian establishment. Those that were unwilling or unable to stomach a curry missed out!

DOWN DOWNS

• Red Dress: The Hare!
• Y2KY Jelly: Visitor from the Gold Coast.
• Growler: 1100 Run milestone!  Duly creamed by Can’t Stop and the GM, who turned up to the venue specially for the occasion!
• Grizzly: Wife neglect! Found inside drinking beer while LA and Leo were stuck outside with no chardonnay!
• Can’t Stop & Swallow for F*rking off to Europe and leaving us behind.
• Soft C*ck: Virgin shoes… might even get a run next week!

Skols from the floor

• Growler -> Herr Flick for telling jokes during Mistress’ wake and getting told off by the celebrant!
• Growler invited all to raise a glass in memory of Wedgie, who has joined the ranks of Cloud Nine Hash.
• Jack Sh*t-> Slippery Nipple: Drove through the city and onto the outlet .. then asked Hooray “Why is it so dark?”
  “Something to do with not having your headlights on, darling!”
• Herr Flick-> Stunned Mullet: Raising money by any means… Took money off Herr Flick for giving him a head job in the car park!
  (See other ads in the trash for other opportunities to support his Kokoda Track trek)
• Jack Sh!t-> Spoof: For dousing himself with toothpaste & peppermints to cover the smell of cigarette smoke in anticipation of a post-Hash rendezvous with Morticia. Conversation went like this:
  Jack Sh!t “You smell a bit fresh Spoof.  Is Morticia coming?” 
  Spoof “Oh Yes!!!”
• Morticia-> Spoof for very poor sweet-talking talents!

• Grizzly-> Snack Bar: One job to do. Was tasked by Red Dress to get the food orders – Snacky having freed up his busy schedule by leaving Maximus to do the Hash Cash duies solo.  All he had to do was get the list of post-trail food from behind the bar and put it where Hashers could order their meal before setting off on trail! When Red Dress returned from setting the trail, he found that the list was still behind the bar… with no names on it!  If it was left to Snacky there would have been NO food!
• Can’t Stop -> Snacky: One Job to do for their trip to Ireland. Organise car hire one way from the Airport to Waterford! Snacky booked car hire as a return trip to the airport… 250km from where they wanted to end their trip!
• Growler-> Red Dress: For exposing juveniles to hash banter
• Grizzly -> C*nt Stop, who couldn’t understand why Melbourne FC was named after an Indian flatbread for the indgenous round!
  [Narrm/Naarm/Nairm (all spellings are correct because it’s an oral language rather than a written language) is the Wurundjeri-Woiwurrung traditional name for the Melbourne area. Naan is an Indian flatbread.]
• Jack Sh*t-> Red Dress (poxy skol for Show & Tell) for driving past the RSL, throwing her children out the car and driving off!
• LA-> Y2KY Jelly for being an overachiever! He was heard commenting that he is good at getting up but not going down!

NEXT RUN

Run 1417: 6 June 2024
HARE APPARENT: Maximus
STARTING FROM: Brewlab Craft Beer Cafe, 22 Gepp Parade, Derwent Park
RUN REPORTER: Gingernuts
$5 run fee – buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 7-9 June 2024 | Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Gowrie Park
• 24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of Gynaecological Cancer Research
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1416

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.