Chardonnay’s Lutana Lager Trail – R*n 1417
6 June 2024 from Brewlab Craft Beer Cafe
Hares: Maximus
Run Reporter: Gingernuts Jacques le Poo

It turned out that this run would be my 700th and thanks to MAXIMUS it would be at one of the better venues around town. He also hinted that for the occasion a special runners’ piss stop may be in the offing.

Many thanks, also, to the Hashers who turned up particularly BAD NEWS – who, only the day before, said he would not be able to make it due to W3 being unable to eat any of the food available. Ultimately, the thought of great beer got the better of him.

The run commenced with MAXIMUS taking the high ground while announcing that everyone go to the “lift.” This led to the ridiculous site of some looking for an elevator – while others, reading through the kiwi accent, set off to the left along Gepp Parade and into Goodwood past Prince of Wales Bay.

An FT, found and called by POLE DANCER, near Giblins Reserve led to the running pack spreading out until trail was located by WEE BEV in Graham St leading up to the Brooker Hwy.

This FT kept the pack together and heading towards the overpass it was noted that even our fearless leader SOFT COCK made it out and was still moving after 5 minutes!

The run continued into Derwent Park, past the best site for a hospital only to find a Bunnings store there instead, and onto Main Rd. It was here both CHRIS MISS and WEE BEV suggested maybe the runners piss stop was to be at The Albert.

We turned into Derwent Park Rd with the pack still together and it was here that SNACK BAR took one for the team and threw himself onto the footpath causing damage to his right elbow and together with ZERO now have 2 good arms between them.

Unfortunately due to the FRBs not looking correctly the runners-walkers split was missed and a beer at the Albert was no to be.

Back at Brewlab the chilli burger I had lived up to it’s name and went very well with the black rice lager.

With no CAN’T STOP, CHRIS MISS performed the creaming duty on me and SOFT COCK made a heartfelt speech.

Thanks for a great night MAXIMUS – it was a 700th run to remember.

On On
Jack Shit

PS – Look after my horn LUV SHACK!

DOWN DOWNS

• Hare: Maximus
• Maximus: For unclear directions to the pack! Not sure which Left was the right one!
• Zero: For sexual deviance. No hash gear as usual.. but sporting an attractive blue sling supporting his worn out, broken w*nking arm.
• Snack Bar: Another sexual deviant… but a taker not a giver; sporting bloodied elbows as a consequence.
• Wee Bev & Grizzly: Lost property
• Pole Dancer: Called the runners on to walkers trail at the walker/runner split… resulting in a short trail and a missed opportunity for Jack Sh*ts extra-curricular p*ss stop at the Albert Brewery!
• Chris Miss: For bullying. Has been badgering Red Dress so much about her missing car he has failed to turn up at hash.
• Murray The Rat: Birthday Boy on Saturday. (I am sure He will be assured of a good time at the Fling!)
• Lone Arranger: For incontinence! A few hashers got a fright when a truck drove by with a large dog barking from the window. Someone asked LA if it made her fart! She said “No! But some Poo might have slipped out!”
• Clearfell: Spent weeks preparing his car (a 1927 Austin 7) for a rally then rolled it after only 2 laps.
• Brazilian:  Neglecting her duties! After the above incident, Brazilian was called to offer comfort and rescue her husband. She responded by saying “F*ck him I’m shopping!”
• Buddha: Has had his back brace off… has resulted in the release of a large amount of smelly wind.  On the way to hash he let off a deadly fart without warning Pussy.. he wound down his window and she was almost asphyxiated.
• Buddha & Pussy: Have got a new camper van. Camped in their drive way to test it out.. neither of them lasted the night. 3am Pussy went inside the house for a wee and didn’t return. Elected to stay inside in a warm bed. After an hour or so Buddha woke up noted the absence of his hot-person, Puss, so went inside to join her!  We suggest they should plan their next trip so that they camp in hotel car parks so they can decamp to comfort if the going gets too tough for them.
• Bad News: Another sexual deviant! Responded to an innocent enquiry from Luv Shack “Have you got your kilt ready for the weekend.. and do you have any bagpipes?” by dropping his pants and asking her “Would you like to blow my bagpipes?”
• Y2KYJelly & Soft C*ck: For being visitors (Smallgoods was absent last week when they were both in attendance).. Perhaps Small Goods should have skolled?
• Jack Sh*t: For a 700 run millstone!
• Herr Flick & In The Raw: More sexual deviancy!  Found in a compromising position while hiding at the end of an FT!

Skols from the floor

• LA-> In The Raw: A Has Been! He was observed to be quite devastated that some local police did not recognize him when they stopped their car to chat to hashers.
• Chris Miss-> Herr Flick: For indicating that he would be driving all night as he had an operation on Friday… then after a few beers he delegated the drive home to Wee Bev as usual!
• Y2KY Jelly-> Herr Flick. He was passing around napkins for $5.. but Y2KY Jelly opened his there was no $5 inside!
• Smallgoods->Herr Flick: Not drinking all his skol because he thought it was no alcohol beer.
• Jack Shit-> Luv Shack for wanting a turn of Jack Shit’s hash horn for the weekend! He obliged and also provided instructions about prophylaxis. She should carefully rub it with tea tree oil to keep it clean and shiny.

NEXT RUN

Run 1418: 13 June 2024
HARE APPARENT: Growler
STARTING FROM: Claremont RSL, 9 Bilton Street, Claremont
RUN REPORTER: Gingernuts
$5 run fee – buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of Gynaecological Cancer Research
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1417

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.