Chardonnay’s Piercing Prince Trail – R*n 1434
12 September 2024 from The Albert Brewery, Moonah
Hare: Jack Sh!t
Run Reporter: Smallgoods

A field of 38 Hashers met at the venue from around 5.45, time to get in a pint or even two. I found the Lager to be a nice drop, however, I was advised in fairly short order that “They don’t have any red wine ☹” (spoken with an elevated inflection). A skol later in the Lip session probably indicated where that comment may have come from.

The pack assembled outside to receive instructions from the Hare, Jacques le Poo, who likened the trail to that too-often viewed piece of anatomy on Can’t Stop as “short and ugly”.

Off we went, leaving the Paris end of Moonah within about 50m. That also corresponded to the distance covered by Nancy Boy and Platypussy, who continued at an ambling pace along Albert Road when the pack turned into Gormanston Road, not to be seen again until we arrived back at the start point.

The Paris end of Moonah is a relatively new precinct established by the slow retreat of the Flannelette Curtain. At the venue, one could be mistaken for thinking we were in any normal suburban / commercial setting, the venue being a nice brewery and bar with a well-renowned restaurant next door and… that’s about as far as you want to look.

The flannelette curtain was once anchored at the line corresponding to Creek Road and all parts north but the delineation between normal Tasmanian society and Boganville has become increasingly difficult to establish in recent years, with many now embracing their inner-bogan… well a few people do anyway and the distinction has become less clear. The concept of the flannelette curtain has long been an established societal norm in Hobart, comprising the communities of Chiggers et al, but typically extending as far south as the northern boundary of New Town.

Winston Churchill coined the phrase “iron curtain” in a 1946 speech regarding Russia building said curtain between eastern and western Europe and various derivatives of the “curtain” can be found around the globe. Lines have been blurred on true boganism and hipsterism since the 90’s when grunge became cool and bogan-wear became more widely distributed, assimilating some bogan-worthy souls into a less clearly defined socio-subset.

Anyway, all thoughts that the ‘curtain’ had disappeared were dispelled after a few hundred metres, wandering up a broken glass-filled lane, bounded on both sides by tall graffiti-covered steel fences. Ol’ mate in the white wife-beater shirt sitting on broken and upended washing machine, with his feet up on a 1970’s era TV in his front yard, next to a clapped out and rusted Commodore on blocks with various panels and glass missing, swearing at his unrestrained pit bull while waving his can of Rokeby Red completed the picture.

The trail was fairly free of drama, making use of some well thought cutbacks through lanes and carparks to keep the actual radius of the trail from the venue relatively compact. A couple of NDIS hashers, Cumonion and Cereal Box thought they were the bee’s knees, walking down main road and calling out the Elite Walkers for going the wrong way, despite there being ample, clearly-defined arrows pointing in the direction from whence they came.

The runners flirted with the lower, less-elevated hills of (formerly) Upper-Boganville and the walkers had a flat, event-free trail, arriving back at the venue without raising much sweat. Meals were quite acceptable and the beverages quite palatable….except for the lack of previously mentioned red wine… although Zero grabbed the plate supplied for Luv Shack and hurriedly scoffed into it, ignoring pleas to supply it to its intended recipient. Oh well, the phrase ‘when in Rome’ certainly fits in this situation! The presentation of the meals was a little hap-hazard, with some arriving relatively late. Quite a few people expressed their heart-felt empathetic concerns for Cumonion, who’s meal was delivered stone motherless last!

The Lip session was quite crowded being held in a small space but the Lips were pleased that most in attendance had the courtesy to listen and to provide some humorous interjections when appropriate. We almost lost Ol’ Spoofo who was waterboarded, instead of being merely vocally restrained, for trying to stuff up The Song. “I can’t breathe” he was heard to squawk with the situation so dire that he required two durries to get his lung function back to normal.

I reckon that while very short, this was an enjoyable trail and a very enjoyable evening.

On-On
Smallgoods

DOWN DOWNS

Both Lips were present … but Smallgoods seemed to think he was in charge!

• Jack Sh!t. The Hare.
• Mrs Shithead, Pussy Galore, C’nt Stop, Sonar, Bart, Grassroots, Arsecutter, TopDek, Buddha & Vodka Cruiser for being c*untry members!
• Corina. A virgin that thought she was a c*untry member!
• Snack Bar. Posh Hash Hare who would rather have another beer than stroll and then announced that he had forgotten to bring any chalk.. so was unable to set trail anyway! Luckily the drinks and ambiance at the Bellerive Yacht Club were worth hanging around for.
• Platypussy. Another Posh Hash tragic. Wore a new dress with the label showing; apparently she was wearing it inside out!
• Maximus. For being observed explaining (mansplaining) to Xena how to get into his car using the remote control!!
• Maximus. Many moons ago.. suggesting that Xena (who drove an SC Commodore) would find his 1.8L Astra too powerful to drive! (I think there might be a bit of ‘never let the truth’ here!)
• Xena. For hogging the brewery’s portable heater… preventing the heat reaching anyone else… Slippery in particular was finding it a bit chilly!

• Cumunion. On her own NDIS trail and suggesting to the Lip that he was going the wrong way on trail despite him standing next to an arrow pointing in the direction he was going!
• Luv Shack. For suggesting that she and Smallgoods should go on a bit of a health kick…. When she was really referring to Smallgoods alone!! Worse.. she suggested they go on a date night… and after he agreed she had booked a table and was rushing him out the door “in the blink of an eye”.  Got to the restaurant to claim their reservation only to find that there was no such reservation.. She had booked at the North rather than the South Hobart branch of Vanidols. With such talents, what can we expect at the Christmas party and AGPU! [If the Fling is anything to go by I recon they will be fab 😊. WB]
• Grassroots.  Hashy Buffday!
• Dyke. Another Hashy Buffday…. On Sunday when he spent the day entertaining six folks that TwinkleToes had invited home!
• MILLSTONES- Awarded by the GM- Soft C*ck
  Sonar 200 runs
  Top Deck 700 runs.  Softy was particularly proud to award the badge to Toppy as he and Chris Miss were the ones to name her almost 700 runs ago!

Skols from the floor

• Xena-> Slippery Nipple. Was worried about the diminishing supply of forks at her table (others were pinching them) Then she said… “It’s OK I don’t need any cos I will be having a hand job!”
• Jack Sh!t -> Snack Bar & Can’t Stop  Returnees from their trip to Ireland. Snacky learned that 22% of the Irish are living with a disability. On advising Can’t Stop of this information  Can’t Stop explained that it would be solely due to the IRA kneecapping them!
•  Spoof -> Jack Sh!t.  For getting lost .. or loosing something (can’t read my notes!)
• Smallgoods for calling Mrs Shithead Mrs Shithouse!
• Herr Flick. For taking up DIY in his retirement. On plugging in an ancient, infrequently-used power tool he fused his home electrical circuits and had to pay $1,600 for a new power board!

NEXT RUN

Run 1434: 19 September 2024
HARE APPARENT: Birthday boy Can’t Stop
STARTING FROM: The Civic Club, 134 Davey Street, Hobart
RUN REPORTER: Cumonion
$20 run fee ($10 run only) – P!ss stop and food provided, buy drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

Get your run venues and p!ss stop requests in early… So we don’t keep hashing from the same places and can advise folks the cost of their Hash in advance!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 6 December 2024 | Hobart Posh Hash 1920s cocktail evening @ Big O’s Juke Joint
• 16 January 2025 | Chardonny Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1434

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.