Chardonnay’s Kiwi Rules Trail – R*n 1436
26 September 2024 from Buckingham Bowls Club, New Town
Hare: Cumonion
Run Reporter: Pole Dancer

GO THE LIONS!!!!

I know I’m writing the run report for Cumunion’s Footy Colors Run from the Buckingham Bowls Club but had to throw in the top remark after returning home from another Chardonnay Grand Final day at Swallow’s place. 

Turned up to the Bowls Club wearing my Hawthorn top to see most of my fellow Hashers in their footy colors, but all losers except for one jolly fellow (not Santa) wearing his Sydney Swans colours, the nearly-retired Griz. There was Collingwood, Geelong, Doggies, Roos, Melbourne, Bombers, Hawks but no Lion supporters to razz up the Griz.

Cumonion called us to order and gave out the run instructions but we all knew that Uber had set the majority of the run. Uber is probably on par with In The Raw as a walker setting a run finding a hill/s that only the fittest Hasher can run, and that was left to Maximus.

So off out the door and headed towards the flannelette curtain border and into Moonah. After a quick three FTs in a row we made our way through laneways and steps to Highfield St and onto Sawyer Ave. Normally at this stage we head up Ripley Rd but we turned left onto some new steps that went on forever and hard to run into the newish subdivision off Creek Rd. From here the runners and walkers split with Maxi and I heading up Chauncer Rd. It was again up, up, up till heading down Monash Ave to Girrabong Rd where Scrotum was having a ‘smoke’ outside his dad’s place.

We made our way through the parklands, over Lenah Valley Rd, up Brushy Creek Rd then no surprise up, up, up again. Finally we passed Uber’s other favorite place the Lenah Valley RSL and thru the park to head into the bushland behind the LV primary school. After some more up and down of bush and paddock trail we came across the p!ss stop near the St Johns Park Bowls Club.

After a quick stout it was on back to the ON/ON and warm up. Being a footy theme the food was hot dogs and little pies and pastries. It was first-in/best-dressed for the hot dogs as only a dozen where on offer. Flicky was heard to say “should have had some little boys as well”.

After scoffing down the lukewarm pies etc the Lip session was called to order with both Smallgoods and Slippery Nipple in attendance with the usual suspects up for skols. It was a quick Lip session with a few Hashers missing in action.

All up okay night with good weather for the run, good selection of drinks at the bar, so ON/ON to Kingston Saturday for the GF run/day and also Kingston RSL for Thursday’s run.

Ony! On! Poley

DOWN DOWNS

• Cumunion, Uber, Snack Bar . The Hares.
• Vodka Cruiser…. Then Poley for being a C’ntry members
• Snack Bar For his rendition of the North Melbourne Song.
• Herr Flick, Softy and Xena… no footy gear, Essendon supporters too embarrassed to wear their footy colours?
• Cumonion First male walker to the piss stop noticed 3 Harriettes present… but 6 empty bottles of sparkling wine! Cumonion must have drunk a fair bit before they got there!
• Vodka Cruiser.  Lost before the start of the trail! Living in the past…went to the Civic Club tonight instead of last week!
• Maxi … as story from a Bledeslow cup match. Maxi was so confident NZ was going to win he set off to get some hot chips. He waited in line for a long time….. by the time he had got to the front of the queue they were out of chips…..and he had missed some great rugby… from the Australians…who went on to win the match!
• Xena & Slippery Heard discussing their eventful weeks. Xena mentioned that she was sore from doing split squats  Slippery asked “What Sweet Spots?”
• Millstone was awarded to Clearfell for 600 Chardonnay Hashes!

Skols from the floor:

• Grizzly -> Xena. For stroking a someone else’s pussy on trail, which looked nothing like Grizzly’s internet search!  Trying to get a puss off the road and out of the way of oncoming traffic!
• In The Raw -> Love Shack. Can’t tell the difference between blue hoops and black stripes! Accused In The Raw of being a Collingwood Supporter when he was clearly wearing a Geelong strip.
• Grizzly-> LA. Griz is approaching retirement. Everyone commenting on how much free time he will have! They have not seen the schedule that LA has planned for him…. Starting with a visit to the vet on Wednesday when he should be having fun on the retirees bike outing!
• Smallgoods-> Grizzly, for electing to retire on a Monday!   Who retires on a Monday?!?
• Jack Sh!t-> Wee Bev Apparently there was an error in the trash! Instructions on the scheduling of the Chardonnay Grand Final Run would have everyone arriving when the game was over and folk would normally be heading home!

NEXT RUN

Run 1437: 3 October 2024
HARE APPARENT: Nancy Boy
STARTING FROM: Kingston Beach RSL, 37-39 Beach Rd, Kingston Beach
RUN REPORTER: Red Dress
$20 run fee ($10 run only) – P!ss stop and food provided, buy drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

Get your run venues and p!ss stop requests in early… So we don’t keep hashing from the same places and can advise folks the cost of their Hash in advance!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 6 December 2024 | Hobart Posh Hash 1920s cocktail evening @ Big O’s Juke Joint
• 9 December | Sydney Posh H3 3000th Run
• 16 January 2025 | Chardonny Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1436

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.