Chardonnay’s AFL Grand Final Trail – R*n 1437
29 September 2024 from Ewing Avenue, Kingston Beach
Hares: Red Dress, Jack Sh!t and Swallow
Run Reporter: Xena

We are the boys from ol’ Fitzroy…

A small but quality crowd gathered for Grand Final Hash with Hares Jack Sh*t and Red Dress informing the gathering that the run/walk was one of Kingston’s less hilly routes. In fairness, there was only one hill; it’s just that the one hill went from 10m above sea level to around 130m in the space of a kilometre. Luckily, the vista was so good that it provided the odd Hasher with the motivation to stop and appreciate the panorama en route.

Once we got over the hill, the walk went somewhere but no one seemed to follow it, until Herr Flick, Swallow, Brazilian and I managed to pick up trail on the Kingston Heights track (as an Eastern Shore Hasher, I have no idea of the names of these places), which made us look like we did the whole walk to anyone who was already at the piss stop.

Back at the on on, a lively lip session ensued, but I have absolutely no idea what happened as the indulgence in the Hash Hops on Kingston Beach temporarily wiped my memory. The usual shenanigans occurred with Griz taking on the role of BBQ King, while a number of Hashers attempted to get onto the hammock built for people of at least 6’3” tall. Maximus clearly went to the New Zealand School of Hammocking, thinking that sitting on the edge of a hammock when someone was halfway on would have no impact on the laws of physics. Luckily at that point the main event started so the serious AFL supporters went to camp around the TV to watch the good old Roy Boys flog the South Melbourne Swans.

With 99% of the crowd feeling pretty confident that Sydney was in for the win, the turn of events that happened from around 18.56 in the first quarter saw many a Hasher trying to break into Jack Sh*t’s yellow envelope to change their answers to the quiz. Giving up on pretty much every quiz question, the only two left that would leave most Hashers with any credibility was the MCG crowd capacity and whether or not there would be a streaker. Sweet Cheeks offered to streak from Swallow’s place to the Kingston Pub if Sydney turned their score around in the last quarter. By that point, Brisbane were about 60 points ahead, so we all crossed that one off our quiz list leaving us with the MCG crowd capacity. Usually sitting at 100,024 according to Dr Google, we were pretty confident that we had got that one right. But alas, 11-or-so Swans fans decided to give up early and take advantage of the sale fares on the 4.15pm Jetstar flight back to Sydney, meaning that crowd capacity in the fourth quarter was only 100,013.

While there were many disappointed Sydney supporters in the crowd, as someone who was told at two days old to barrack for Essendon first and Fitzroy second, or leave the house, I was pretty happy that the old Roy Boys won, even if they now live in Queensland.

On on, Xena

DOWN DOWNS

There was a Lip session conducted by stand-in Lip Jacques Le Poo – no idea what the skols were for except:

• Red Dress, Jack Sh!t and Swallow – Hares and host
• Yes Please 300 Run milestone
• Brazilian 600 Run milestone
• Clearfell 550 milestone, having been presented with his 600 Run badge on Thursday (does that mean he’s done 1150 Runs?)
• Maximus and Snack Bar – dodgy accounting (see above)

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1437