Chardonnay’s Hooray for Midway Trail – R*n 1439
10 October 2024 from Midway Point Tavern
Hare: Hooray
Run Reporter: “Lone Arranger”

Whilst it is an undisputed fact that it never rains on a Hash trail, the same does not apply to the Hares when setting trail.

Quite the opposite.

The Hash gods have a particular penchant for dumping on the poor soul struggling with a bag of flour or doing hundreds of deep knee-bends in order to mark trail, only to find that there’s no trace of it come 6:31pm.

So it was last Thursday, with a squall of ‘spring’ passing over Midway Point mid-afternoon. Like so many before him, Hare Hooray set off a second time to try rescue trail, only to be shown that the Hash gods have a strange sense of humour.

On arrival at the Tavern, chief wrangler Slippery Nipple informed the Pack that they were to order off the ‘lunchtime specials’ menu. A quick glance at the meal descriptions and at their modest prices indicated that lunchtime patrons appreciated value, and did not have their own teeth. Conformists like Wee Bev obliged – with only modicum of whinging about missing out on the seafood crepe – while anarchists like In The Raw said ‘f*ck that for a joke’ and ordered the Midway Point equivalent of pheasant under glass.

The Hare shepherded us outside – sans gumboots – to tell us the story of the trail set and the trail remaining. Like all of Hooray’s stories, we were ten minutes down and he still hadn’t gotten to the point of the story, so there was an unspoken decision to take our chances and head off.

The start of trail was confusing, in that it was still clearly visible – albeit using blue kiddies’ chalk. We soon waved ‘f*ck off’ to the runners as they headed to Sorell, and followed trail until we weren’t.

One of the instructions given by the Hare – missed by most during his ‘entertaining’ monologue – was that the walkers would be guided by Slippery. This was all well and good until Slippery realised that the part of trail that she had set and the instructions that Hooray had given were ‘neurally divergent’ (As in ‘I have no idea what the f*ck he was thinking!’) Added to that was a barrage of sniping from Herr Flick and In The Raw, and I thought that Slippery would soon go ‘postal’ on these moose-knuckleheads.

Sensing Slippery’s frustrations – and fearing a hidden shank – we settled in to a circumcision of the ever-expanding Midway Point. ‘Runners’ Prickit and Can’t Stop decided against a potential 15km lap of Orielton Lagoon in favour of running the walkers’ trail, adding a quick knee-trembler in the bush to boost the Strava stats. (It should be noted that Prickit’s heart rate barely moved.) Spoof was revolting and led most of the Pack on a bee-line to Penna Road, claiming to have found elusive trail AND avoiding the moral high ground.

The remaining three still in Slippery’s soft-but-firm hands also made it down to Penna Road – despite a misdirection from ‘I know boats’ Grizzly – and found trail! Lots of trail! (Assuming your counting goes something like ‘one, two, many, lots’.)

From there is was a straight line to the Tavern, registering about 5km for walkers and IDGAF for the runners.

Meals and meal service were good, even if you really did want seafood crepe.

Commiserations to the Hare on having your trail obliterated. Perhaps its the Hash gods way of telling you that they don’t like your ‘jokes’ either.

On On
“Lone Arranger“

DOWN DOWNS

Slippery officiating

• Hooray. The hare
• Zero and “Julia”…. for being a C’ntry members.. Julia has only done 3 runs!  All in Midway Point I think!
• Murray The Rat For parking (very badly) in a disability spot using Mistress’ Parking pass when he could have walked to the pub!

Skols from the floor:

• Hooray -> Slippery Nipple For asking out loud “when did you last come”… Not sure who she was addressing!
• Herr Flick-> Slippery Nipple. Not having her dog under control! A visually-impaired person was knocked over by her mutt when she was assisting Hooray with trail setting!
• In the Raw -> Lone Arranger, went to the bar to get Griz a beer:
  “What would you like darling” LA asked. 
  “A can of Cascade Blue” Griz replied
  What did Griz get?… A can of Cascade light.. and an LA stroppy about who was driving home!
• Herr Flick -> Scary Eyeball for picking up at last week’s ON ON. Found an 80 year old man lost in the RSL car park (told him that she was 63).. so escorted him back to the pub where he was staying.
• C*nt Stop -> Growler. For spending her retirement watching soap operas on the telly (Is  C*nt Stop jealous?)
• C*nt Stop -> Cumunion. For being unable to spell her own name! 
• Herr Flick -> In the Raw. Was the first to NOT order off the prescribed menu… and encouraged others to do the same! Shame on you!
• Cant Stop ->TopDek for moving tables after ordering so the waitress could not find her when her dinner arrived.
• Pole Dancer -> Maximus For going all the way to New Zealand for the weekend! (To look after his pet sheep!!) 

NEXT RUN

Run 1440: 17 October 2024
HARE APPARENT: Mrs Shithead and Slippery Nipple
STARTING FROM: Belles Burgers, Bellerive
RUN REPORTER: Gingernuts
$5 run fee – buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

Get your run venues and p!ss stop requests in early… So we don’t keep hashing from the same places and can advise folks the cost of their Hash in advance!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 26 October 2024 | Burnie H3 1800th R*n ‘Rock Around the clock’
• 6 December 2024 | Hobart Posh Hash 1920s cocktail evening @ Big O’s Juke Joint
• 9 December | Sydney Posh H3 3000th Run
• 16 January 2025 | Chardonny Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1439

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.