Run 1440 from Belles Burgers, Bellerive

The CHARDONNAY BUGLE

Volume 26 Issue 42

HASH TO:

IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Not for the first time, we find that we need to REMIND Hashers to NOT TAKE THEIR OWN DRINKS INTO A LICENSED VENUE.
Shitty behaviour that brings Chardonnay (or any Hash club) into disrepute will be followed by a less-than-polite ‘f*ck off and don’t come back’. No excuses and no exceptions!

Chardonnay’s Slippery Shitburger Trail – R*n 1440
17 October 2024 from Belle’s Burgers, Bellerive
Hares: Mrs Shithead and Slippery Nipple
Run Reporter: Wee Bev

I arrived at Belle’s to find great excitement amongst the gathered throng. In the absence of Grizzly and Maximus, Snack Bar was finally doing his allotted job. Unfortunately (fortunately for us) he could not get the Square to work and had announced that this week’s run would be free of charge.

At 6:31pm some calm had returned, and we headed out for a briefing on the run whilst averting our eyes from the lurid non-hash vest that Hooray had elected to wear as a fashion statement. I was somewhat shocked to hear that the run was around 9.6km.. especially as we were also required to be back at Belles by 7:30pm

The run and walk both followed the concrete path around the Victoria Esplanade waterfront ON ON past the bluff and the kiddie park opposite the Fish Bar. Although there were a few other runners in the pack at the start: Cant Stop, Prickit, Hooray, Snacky and Softy, the only one I could see was Poley… off in front heading along the concrete path towards Alexandra Esplanade.  I had had enough concrete by then, so elected to take the sandy route along Bellerive beach. Apparently Softy followed me down that route  .. but not sure where he went after that!  When I got to the end of Bellerive beach and up the stairs I had caught up with Poley… and had apparently missed the walkers split at River Street. The trail continued around the second Bluff and onto the concrete path that runs to Howrah. Luckily there was some grass to run on at either side of the bike track. We turned off the bike track just after Howrah Primary School after worrying a troop of Boy/Girl Scouts out for a nature walk.

Poley followed the trail skirting the school carpark and up on to Clarence Street (I short cut through the middle and almost caught up with him again).  On Clarence Street we diverted to do a blocky up Yarram St along Vela St and back down Phoenix St before returning to Clarence St again. After a couple of hundred meters I crossed the road to run on tar macadam (a good Scottish invention) rather than concrete .. and in doing so missed Poley taking a second right turn from Clarence St into the Bellerive heights! (Poley’s Strava would show where it went.. but he hasn’t accepted my follow request yet!)  I continued along Clarence street till I came across the walker’s trail joining and heading up High Street… where I popped out just in front of Poley who had been doing the hard yards up and down Hill St.  A left turn down Beach Street then left again on York took us back to the Bellerive waterfront and the ON INN where the walkers were already seated and awaiting the imminent delivery of their burgers languishing in the Baine Marie ready for their as scheduled delivery at 7:30pm.

The Hash was indeed a run!  No Checks or false trails what so ever!  Well done hares for your persistence in remarking the trail after having it washed away on you… It was easy to follow.. but it would have been SO much better if it was shorter with the odd FT or check!

I think this is a good time to remind people what a Hash trail is supposed to be as there have been a few similar ‘runs’ recently.

Guide to Setting a Hash Run (taken from the Chardonnay Web Page)

Remember why *most* people hash. Thursday Nights are a supposed to be a sociable evening, focused around meeting up with friends, chatting and tomfoolery. Most importantly Thursday nights are focused around being back in the pub/to the On Inn at a sensible time to enjoy a “beer” or two.

Your esteemed Trailmaster, has decreed that Hares should aim to set runs that last for about 45 minutes. [I always thought it was an hour! Ed.] Most Hash runners can cover between 6 and 8 kilometres over a period of 45 minutes. Chardonnay Hash runs mostly around the streets so it is easy to drive over your proposed trail in a car to ascertain the approximate length of the run.

The running capabilities of the membership of Chardonnay varies from good to plodders to walkers…. And the NDIS.

Setting a run for such a diverse group requires the Hares to give consideration to all Hounds. If you are intending to set a hard run, the use of a get out point or perhaps a separate inward trail for the walkers, should be considered.

Here are some suggestions for Hares when setting runs.

  1. Know where you are going before you set out
    Reconnoiter the run before the run day to make the run as interesting and trouble-free as possible. Try to avoid taking the trail up a hill just for the sake of it.
  2. Clearly mark the trail
    Use the Chardonnay arrow to avoid confusion with other clubs. Don’t hide the trail as it is important to give the Hounds a clear trail, properly marked especially when changing directions.
  3. Use Checks & False Trails properly
    Hash runs have Checks and False Trails to help keep the pack together. Most Checks should be set in such a way to disadvantage the faster runners and assist the plodders and walkers to keep up. False Trails are the best method of slowing down the fast runners as it brings those fast runners back to the pack.
    • Checks; the run should restart within 100 metres of the Check sign.
    • False Trails; go back to the last deviation in the trail and the run should restart within 100 metres of the deviation.
  4. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance
    If you are a novice Hare, don’t be afraid to ask an experienced Hare to assist in the planning and setting of the run. If you are an experienced Hare ask a new Hasher to help you set a run.
    It can also be beneficial to get back to the On-On site before the run starts. This allows time for you to advise the Hounds of any problems i.e. crossing other trails. It is also useful for the novice Hare to participate in the run to see what worked and what didn’t.   It is also great fun watching the pack doing all your false trails 😊
  5. Don’t be a smart-arse Hare
    If you are going to the trouble of setting a run you want people to follow the run. If you become a smart-arse and make the run too difficult, you not only stuff up your own run but the other members of the club know to avoid your runs in the future.
    Surely it is better to strive to be the best Hare, not the biggest idiot.
    The attitude of that old saying “stuff-em they are only Hashers” should be avoided.

DOWN DOWNS

Present – our two Lips, Slippery Nipple and Smallgoods

  • Mrs Shithead and Slippery Nipple – the Hares
  • Snack Bar, One job to do!  First Time he is flying solo doing his Hash Cash job he couldn’t get the square to work. Tried all the passwords he had been given… but had to resort to announcing a free run!
  • Impromptu from the floor: Cant Stop elaborated on the issue above. Apparently Snack Bar had actually been a bit of a trooper….working very hard to make sure the Square would work. He did not have a charger for it and was worried about the battery life. So he went to JB HiFi and bought a charger Turned out it was the wrong one… so had to go back to the shop and return it. Second time lucky the charger worked… but did not help him log on!
  • Brazilian. For trusting Snack Bar with the one and only copy of her receipt for the Hash piss stop supplies.
  • Morticia. For some reason she thought the run was from Bes Mudi in Mornington! So she brought her own dinner with her.
  • Millstones. There were two:
  • Clearfell. Smallgoods found a wee blue jumper next to his bag… “That’s mine“ said Clearfell.  Couple of minutes later Luv Shack appeared asking where her jumper was. Looking around Clearfell as spotted trying to squeeze into it… while his own jumper was around his waist!!!!
  • Hooray Coming to hash dressed in a very unattractive ‘old man singlet’ inside out and back to front!
  • Uber, Cumunion & Growler. Made to skol water ‘cos they don’t like the beer served at Belle’s so their run went only as far as the Waterfront Hotel next door
  • At this point Scary Eyeball should have skolled, but the Lips did not want to speak her sins out loud and have a repetition of the Fucking Near Water episode that got us banned from the Maypole. Not only was she a member of the very short trail brigade Hashing to the hotel next door. She also brought back her glass of wine from there!!!

Skols from the floor:

  • Herr Flick -> Buddha would benefit for the trail being reset a second time in lime after being washed away… [Not sure that will hold given the rain we had on Friday! Ed.]
  • Herr Flick-> The Cruisers:  Prickit, C*nt Stop, Hands On, Arsecutter, TopDek, Growler, Brazilian & Scary Eyeball are all off on a cruise to a Cairns (via anchorage in Willis Island to buy some duty free) cos it was too dangerous to let them loose in New Caledonia.

NEXT RUN

Run 1441: 24 October 2024
HARE APPARENT: TwinkleToes
STARTING FROM: Cornelian Bay kiddie park
RUN REPORTER: Grizzly
$20 run fee ($10 run only) – food and p!ss stop provided, bring your own drinks.

NOTICE TO UPCUMMING HARES:

If you want to have a p!ss stop on your trail, you will need to notify either of the Hash Hops NO LATER than a week prior to your run date. This allows them to re-stock if required, and so that the appropriate run fee can be advised in the circle and in the Trash.

RECEDING HARELINE

Get your run venues and p!ss stop requests in early… So we don’t keep hashing from the same places and can advise folks the cost of their Hash in advance!

RUNDATEHARESVENUEREPORTER
144231 OctPrickit
Halloween theme		Cooley’s Beer Garden, MoonahArsecutter
14437 NovGrowler
Chardonnay Cup		St Johns Park Bowls ClubLuv Shack
144414 NovPussy Galore
Buddha’s 2,587th birthday		Belles Burgers, BelleriveFringe Benefits
144521 NovChris Miss
Envelope R*n		Kangaroo BayCan’t Stop
144628 NovWee Bev
(Not quite)
St Andrews Day		TBABuddha
14475 DecDykeTBATBA
144812 DecThe Joint Masters
Christmas R*n		Black Buffalo, North HobartTBA
144919 DecHands OnSeven Mile BeachChris Miss
145026 DecHare required
(Boxing Day)
14512 JanTopDek (TBC)TBATBA
14529 JanIn The RawTBAHerr Flick
145316 JanThe Joint Masters
AGPU!		TBATBA
145423 JanSoft Cock (TBC)
Traditional Soft Opening		Montagu Bay Reserve (TBC)TBA
Anyone keen to set a run please seek out Cumunion and her calendar.

UP CUMMING EVENTS

  • 26 October 2024 | Burnie H3 1800th R*n ‘Rock Around the clock’
  • 6 December 2024 | Hobart Posh Hash 1920s cocktail evening @ Big O’s Juke Joint
  • 9 December | Sydney Posh H3 3000th Run
  • 25 December | Christmas Day Hash @ TBA
  • 16 January 2025 | Chardonnay Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
  • 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
  • 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1439

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.

GRAND MASTERSoftythommotas@gmail.com
JOINT MASTERSArsecutter & Luv Shack
ON SECWee Bevweebev@netspace.net.au
HASH CASHMaximus & Snack Bar
HASH HOPSBrazilian & Hands On
TRAILMASTERCumonionamctye@bigpond.net.au
HASH LIPSSlippery Nipple & Smallgoods
HASH FLASHPrickit
HASH HORNJack Shit
RELIGIOUS ADVISORGingernuts

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