Chardonnay’s Andrew’s Come Early Trail – R*n 1446
28 November 2024 from Eastern Suburbs Rugby Club, North Warrane
Hare: Wee Bev
Run Reporter: Buddha

This run was set to commemorate St Andrews Day which is right up there with Shrove Tuesday, Hogmanay, Halloween, Burns Night and Saint Nicholas Day. Accordingly the theme colours were blue and white and the bar was set as to who had the knobbiest knees in their kilts.

For those who didn’t know, Saint Andrew is the disciple who introduced his brother, the Apostle Peter, to Jesus, the Messiah. Anyone who’s travelled the Great Ocean Road, will probably be familiar with Apostle Peter, one of the few of the twelve apostles that has survived the tempest of the sea down there in Southern Victoria.

In Scotland, Saint Andrews Day is an official ‘Bank Holiday’. Nevertheless, banks are not required to close on this ‘holiday’ probably to enable the Scottish bank managers to fleece their hard working employees. Likewise, schools remain open.

So much for Saint Andrews Day.

Why the prevarication I hear you ask. Well I didn’t attend the run and while Maxi was kind enough to send me his run details on Strava, I don’t have Strava so was unable to open his missive. Similarly Wee Bev gave me some lovely maps but the detail is so minute and fuzzy on my phone screen I’m guessing the walkers circumnavigated North Warrane Oval using Bounty Street, Bligh St and Flagstaff Gully Road. I’m also guessing the runners did something similar but on a grander scale. Not long after I arrived at Wee Bev’s p!ss stop everyone was present and accounted for. Apart from the usual beer and wine there were some Scottish beverages that evoked various responses. I personally, enjoyed the Scottish brew that I heard someone allude to as ‘porridge’. Harsh.

On on,
Buddha

Addendum:

Getting to the on-on venue was something of a challenge. Both Google and Apple Maps have a perverse sense of humour, taking the unwary on a postman’s tour of the eastern shore. Even Poley was confused.

Nothing terribly new there…

The Eastern Suburbs Rugby clubrooms were open and had a good stock of cold beverages… if you were a beer or bourbon drinker. The bubbles mafia soon mobilised and ‘requested’ that the lone barman go out and get ‘the good shit’. If he wasn’t married, he learned a valuable lesson that afternoon.

Many Chardonnay Highland Fling shirts had a second airing for the year. There were other Scottish offerings, including Spoof’s re-imagining of the Saltire in attractive puce. There are a few Glaswegians that might take offense.

The Wee Hare barked out a few orders – none intelligible to anyone other than Can’t Stop – but translated to ‘the run starts over there’.

‘Somewhere over there’ she added.

Dyke took this as a cue to scarper off in the opposite direction, doing his best Argue impersonation. He would not be seen again until the end of the trail.

Maximus and Pole Dancer also scarpered off, but were on trail – even if that trail showed ‘FT’. Like two naughty schoolboys, they pretended to be very interested in some local flora, luring the rest of the Pack (including NDIS) up whichever hill they had just climbed.

Herr Flick seemed to know a lot about the trail he had nothing to do with, redirecting the Pack when it became difficult to spot the flour from the decomposing nappies.

Eventually we left the green surrounds of the recreation area and started doing what Chardonnay loves best – Hashing suburban streets.

The Hare had done a fine job keeping the front runners going back and forth and the walkers – most of the walkers – fairly close. We crossed the Tasman Highway via the footbridge, but then reverted to running on soft, boggy ground along the Highway verge. A few pairs of Hokas needed a good scrub after that.

Back over the Highway via the overpass, the trail came close to coming undone by an FT a bit too close to the other end of a loop. Luckily, Flick was on hand to ‘suggest’ that the runners were stupid and blind and that they should follow trail up a grassy knoll.

Once we returned after doing the loop, trail headed along a creek path before crossing the creek and heading up to the Clarence Campus of TAFE. This was new territory to most, never having gotten past sixth grade.

After a tour of the TAFE mulch farm, we popped out through a hole in the fence to a Hare and the p!ss stop. There was Atholl brose (aka porridge), Irn Bru, shortbread and bubbles (because not even Wee Bev is prepared to take on the bubbles mafia).

It took some time for the runners to appear. This was surprising because we don’t usually care enough to notice. There appeared to be a lack of solidarity in the runners community, with Maxi, Poley and – out of the blue and for no apparent reason – recent H5 arrival Arse Angel reaching the PS well before their comrades. Rather than working as a Pack, they had left Hooray, Snack Bar and Prickit to the wilds of Warrane. It was lucky that they made it out alive!

Once the Wee harridan declared ‘one drink and f*ck off’, we headed up toward Flagstaff Gully Road and followed a scenic track back to the on-on.

This trail was one of the best trails I’d not been on this year. Well done Wee Bev for taking us somewhere different and losing that stupid Dutchman in doing so.

On on,
The Ghost of Buddha

DOWN DOWNS

Presiding Lip: Slippery Nipple

• Wee Bev– The Hare
• Tina a virgin Hasher
• Snack Bar.  Messaged Spoof after his football team (Leeds United) lost. Was in tears on the phone!
• Grizzly. For being a returnee to the venue. He was a regular visitor playing against the Eastern Suburbs RUFC.
• Wee Bev. The trash apparently said that you should bring your own drinks…. But there is a bar…and we should buy from the club.
• Grizzly. Had a Birthday!
• Snack Bar. Called Cumonion for a ride to hash…but forgot and turned up to Hash by himself.

Skols from the floor:

• Jack Shit-> Dyke. For pretending he was “I know where this trail goes” Argue! Wrong on all counts!
• Grizzly ->  Pole Dancer & Maximus For hiding at the end of uphill false trails trying to entice other Hashers to go the wrong way.
• Poley -> Wee Bev. For exposing Hashers to a vicious dog on trail! (I get the impression it was something like a chihuahua).
• Maximus->Pole Dancer. For almost running over trail he had already run over just like he accused TicToc of doing a couple of weeks ago!
• Chris Miss-> Can’t Stop. His run report mentioned Jack Shit’s activities on last week’s trail… when Jack Shit  was in fact was at home with his arm in a sling!

Announcements:

NEXT RUN

Run 1447: 5 December 2024
HARE APPARENT: Dyke
STARTING FROM: John Turnbull Park, Lenah Valley
RUN REPORTER: Smallgoods
$20 run fee ($10 run only) – includes PS and food, bring your own drinks

RECEDING HARELINE

RUN	DATE	HARES	VENUE	REPORTER
1448	12 Dec	The Joint Masters Christmas R*n	Black Buffalo, North Hobart	Fringe Benefits
1449	19 Dec	Hands On	Seven Mile Beach	Chris Miss
1450	26 Dec	Chris Miss	Montagu Bay	TBA
1451	2 Jan	TopDek (TBC)	TBA	Gingernuts!
1452	9 Jan	In The Raw	TBA	Herr Flick
1453	16 Jan	The Joint Masters AGPU!	TBA	TBA
1454	23 Jan	Soft Cock (TBC) Traditional Soft Opening	Montagu Bay Reserve (TBC)	TBA

---

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 6 December 2024 | Hobart Posh Hash 1920s cocktail evening @ Big O’s Juke Joint
• 9 December | Sydney Posh H3 3000th Run
• 25 December | Christmas Day Hash @ Legacy Park Community Hub
• 16 January 2025 | Chardonnay Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
• 15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash R*n
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1445

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.

GRAND MASTER	Softy	thommotas@gmail.com
JOINT MASTERS	Arsecutter & Luv Shack
ON SEC	Wee Bev	weebev@netspace.net.au
HASH CASH	Maximus & Snack Bar
HASH HOPS	Brazilian & Hands On
TRAILMASTER	Cumonion	amctye@bigpond.net.au
HASH LIPS	Slippery Nipple & Smallgoods
HASH FLASH	Prickit
HASH HORN	Jack Shit
RELIGIOUS ADVISOR	Gingernuts