Chardonnay’s Krusty Kringle Trail – R*n 1448
12 December 2024 Black Buffalo Hotel, North Hobart
Hares: The Joint Masters
Run Reporter: Fringe Benefits

Christmas spirit (the un-bottled sort) abound at the Black Buffalo Hotel, for nothing brings out the country members like the prospect of subsidised food and multiple p!ss stops. Hashers managed to find – then vaguely fit into – cheap festive attire that had not seen the light of day since last year. Nancy Boy again wore his inflatable Santa suit and, even though the pump gave out years ago, managed to achieve the appropriate proportions for the role. Chuckie seemed to have aged considerably over the past week, and was now sporting some festive carbuncles in his beard. His hairy arse was even more colourful. (Poo brown is a colour…)

As usual, the nervous Dykes were glancing skyward and firmly grasping their coats and umbrellas. Would there be a Christmas miracle? Could it dare rain on a Hash trail? I’ll believe in miracles when St Kilda wins a second premiership.

Hare Arsecutter lead everyone outside for instructions, but was interrupted by a severe but very localised snow storm around the vicinity of Can’t Stop on the occasion of his 1200th Chardy outing.

The Hare declared that this would be a modest trail. Most thought ‘modest’ meant short and easy; for Arsecutter, modest meant keeping his privates covered once the Pack caught up with him.

Setting out through to an early first p!ss stop at Soundy’s Park there were a few droplets of condensation. Renowned hard man and former most hated man in Hash – In The Raw – started to panic at this apparent first sign of the coming precipitation apocalypse and sought a professional meteorological analysis from Xena. Professor Xena gave a convincing dissertation on moist air currents and Newton’s third rule of gullibility, before declaring ITR to be a panty-waisted fusspot.

The p!ss stop offerings were sweet and sticky, perhaps foreseeing the need to provide energy for the trail ahead as it crossed the Brooker overpass and then straight up Davenport Street. Spoof was ready to have a ‘modest’ conversation with the Hare, once the stars stopped obscuring his vision.

There was a brief dalliance with the Queens Domain bushland, at which point Chuckie and Sonar headed off trail, possibly to spread more than just Christmas cheer.

At the summit of the climb we found the Eskys and the NDIS group, well ensconced and up to their elbows in bubbles and cake. Grand Master Soft Cock made a regal appearance, glad-handing it with his constituents, then politely inquired as to ‘which one of these numpties is Can’t Stop‘ ahead of his ‘one job’.

Back at the Hotel we sat at our tables, decorated with hand-made bon-bons, crafted by JM Luv Shack. I could tell that they were hand-made because my cardboard roll had poo on it.

After the substantial feed, Slippery and Smallgoods presided over the sort of Lip session that you get with a big group, cavernous room and fueled by Christmas spirit. The bottled sort.

The evening ended with a visit from inappropriate Santa, who must bear the responsibility for gifting Can’t Stop with his own battery-powered microphone (even though it had Hands On’s grubby little muff prints all over it).

DOWN DOWNS

Presiding Lips: Slippery Nipple & Smallgoods

• Arsecutter and Luv Shack – The JM Hares
• Jack Shit and Scary Eyeball for talking over the Lips!
• Soft C*ck, Twinkle Toes, Scary Eyeball,  TicToc for being c*ntry members
• Hooray .. wanted to tell a joke… but Smallgoods presented Hooray with all the jokes from the crackers … which were better than any of his!
• Dyke. For practicing being a retiree travelling around Australia in a caravan….. Parked his car in a spot reserved for caravans and trailers! Needless to say he got a parking fine!
• Uber. For being stopped by the Police on the way to Hash… Was cautioned for doing an illegal U turn! Maximus also did an illegal U-ey on the way to Hash … but the police did not see him do it!

• Pussy Galore was spotted in a toe nail pamper salon with her legs in the air!!  
• C*nt Stop For a milestone 1200 Chardonnay Hashes!
• ‘Teena’ For attending her first lip session… 1/3 runs!
• C*nt Stop For attending retirees bike ride on Wednesday and left Prickit at home to organize tickets for the footy!
• C*nt Stop For dumping flour all over and around the urinal in the pub’s men’s toilet!
• Dyke & In The Raw… Old & new most hated men in Hash respectively! Exhibiting similar behaviors at the Piss Stop…In the Raw eating all the Cheezels and Dyke eating all the Twisties!

Skols from the floor:

• In The Raw->  Dyke The most hated man at hash is also the most hated man at home. Twinkle has made him sleep in the spare room.

NEXT RUN

Run 1449: 19 December 2024
HARE APPARENT: Hands On
STARTING FROM: Lewis Park, Seven Mile Beach
RUN REPORTER: Chris Miss
$20 run fee – includes food and p!ss stop, BYO drinks

RECEDING HARELINE

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 25 December | Christmas Day Hash @ Legacy Park Community Hub
• 16 January 2025 | Chardonnay Hobart H3 Annual General P!ss Up
• 15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash R*n
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1448

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.