Chardonnay’s Dodgy Ferry Run – R*n 1457
13 February 2025 from Boat Park, Dodges Ferry
Hares: Slippery Nipple, Crusher and Metro
Run Reporter: Maximus

A surprisingly large herd of hashers ventured into the uncharted Chardonnay hash territory at Dodge’s Ferry on a very warm evening. The hares – Slippery Nipple, Metro, and Crusha – managed to corral the usual rowdy bunch at 6.32pm (thanks to some gentle nagging from Herr Flick) and sent us in the direction of the beach.

After a series of twists and turns through the dunes that left us feeling like we were in a sandy labyrinth, the trail finally spat us out onto Carlton Beach Road. Chaos ensued as runners and walkers alike tried to decipher the cryptic trail. The front walkers, led by the intrepid Poley, ventured up Paneminner Street only to hit an FT – classic Poley move who usually delegates the finding of false trails to others.

Just when all hope seemed lost, Hooray miraculously discovered the trail, though there were whispers of insider information. The pack then trudged up Bally Park Road, where the walkers and runners parted ways. The runners continued on Bally Park Road, executing a couple of left turns, eventually rejoining Carlton Beach Road.

From there, the trail turned left onto Riaweena Road, leading us to the pièce de résistance – the piss stop at Spectacle Head, undoubtedly the most picturesque piss stop of the year. Meanwhile, back at the on home, we found Spoof, who had missed the piss stop entirely. He claimed he preferred the company of the local lads at Boat Park.

As the pack trickled back, pizzas magically appeared from the depths of Crusha’s ute, much to everyone’s delight. All in all, it was a fantastic evening and an absolute credit to the hares’ meticulous planning.

DOWN DOWNS

Lips: Spoof & Nancy Boy

• Slippery Nipple, Crusher and Metro – The Hares
• Xena, Maximus, LA, Griz, Metro and Banger Dan – C#ntry Members
• Crusher – a double edged skol: 1) for becoming an entrepmanure (as Nancy Boy described it) and now a millionaire, and 2) forgetting to slip, slop, slap.
• Wee Bev – a skol for stealing Herr Flick‘s grog. Flick should know what’s his is Wee Bev’s and what’s Wee Bev’s is also Wee Bev’s.
• Sonar – for ignoring the scenic delights on trail and spending his whole time on the phone.
• Tarzan’s Grope – for lobbying the Tasmanian government for 10 cents per recycled can/bottle. Chardonnay will now have an extra revenue stream by donating the outputs of the p*ss stop each week.
• Banger Dan – mistook Chardonnay Hash for the Thames Hares and Hounds by trying to pay with his 10-shilling note.
• Growler – Happy birthday f#ck you!
• Slippery Nipple – as Trump’s right-hand person, she is single handedly responsible for stopping a war. We’re now waiting for her to create the Riviera of the Middle East.
• C#n’t Stop – for starting a slave labour camp and posing as a Spanish bloke called Manual Labour. He has Dyke doing his gardening, Sonar painting his house and Crusher picking up cans and bottles.
• C#n’t Stop – gave his disgruntled employee his old Ford Fairlane to drive, who strategically parked it so that the next oncoming car knocked the door off.
• Herr Flick and Wee Bev – the f#ck off song.
• Spoof – somehow got lost on trail while shortcutting up a straight road.

Skols from the floor:

Snackbar>Hooray: As Australia’s ambassador to tourism, Hooray managed to p*ss off a busload of Canadians by telling them he was looking forward to Canada being the 51st state.

Griz>Nancy Boy: Lost property – somehow Nancy Boy’s cricket bat materialised from the back of Griz’s shorts.

In The Raw>Uber and Nancy Boy – for leading Cumonion astray on trail by trying to sneak in a shortcut only to get to the p*ss stop 15 minutes later than everyone else.

Growler>Nancy Boy – overheard telling the local Dodges Ferry youth that he ran 15 kilometers a day and was in the Army. They didn’t look convinced.

Dyke – reckons the whale trail signage in Dodges Ferry was false advertising as it didn’t have ITR on it when they identified the whales. This led to a ricochet skol back to Dyke for being a sh*t skol.

Griz>Dyke – for bitching about not being able to find trail while he was on trail.

Milestones:

• Morticia – 500 runs.

NEXT RUN

Run 1457: 20 February 2025
HARE APPARENT: Morticia
STARTING FROM: 17 Mirramar Park, Blackmans Bay
RUN REPORTER: Slippery Nipple
$20 run fee ($10 run only). Food and p*ss stop provided. BYO drinks.

If you would like a p*ss stop at your run, please let the Hash Hops (Clearfell or Chris Miss) know the week before!

RECEDING HARELINE

Roll up! Roll up! 
Check your diaries and tell Morticia when and where you might like to set a trail this year.  If you don’t know how to set one. Find a friend who can to help you!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 20 February 2025 | Full Moon Run – 34 Laycock Drive, Lake Cresent.
• 15 March 2025 | Bream Creek Show Hash R*n
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1457

MISMANAGEMENT 2025

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.

Run reports: Please send directly to Xena by Sunday lunchtime at melaniebryant2901@gmail.com