The CHARDONNAY BUGLE

Volume 27 Issue 22

The hare issued instructions and off we headed. The trail zig zagged its way
through the CBD down to and along the waterfront and back up Campbell Street
back to the on on. It was a delightful trail. Dark MOFO at its best. The city and
waterfront were vibrant, people abounded, and the place was humming.
Where the runners went, I do not know. However, I espied a cute little cow in
Bathurst Street which turned out to be Prickitt , short cutting the run. Back in the
warm fug of the On On, beers flowed, bullshit sprouted, and the Highland fling
was dissected minute by drunken minute.

Nancy Boy ran a rowdy circle, solo, most of which, surprisingly, was intelligible.
During the circle an interesting but not unexpected (by the author) development
occurred. It is well known that the shit JM, Dyke, the Most Hated Man in Hash (MHMH,
fairly awarded and elected by popular vote), has chaffed under this title (It can’t
be wrong, Twinkle Toes claims he is the most hated man at home, her words, not mine). He has since, led a vicious disinformation campaign to rid himself of this
most deserved title. So MHMH, mirroring Donald Trump, got his JD Vance stand in, C*nt Stop (two brain cells away from being able to claim a disability pension), to announce a plebiscite on who is the Most Hated Man in Hash. Grizzly, not a fan of the author (some shit about constantly fondling Lone Arranger) seconded the motion and agreed to set up an electronic vote to decide who is the most hated man.

So, my fellow hashers, you have a choice, who is the most hated man in hash?
Let’s look at Dyke. He got the title, fairly I say, last year after setting a gut buster
trail that was up hill all the way and nearly killed several club members. This is
his modus operandi. How many runs has he set over the last decade? A lot.
They all went up steep hills. He enjoys torturing you. This is because he hates
you! There is a sizable segment of the club that now will not attend a Dyke set
run for this reason. What is his response to any criticism? Always the same,
‘Harden up”.

Secondly, have any of you had Dyke shout you a drink? I think not. On the
one occasion I saw him open his wallet, many years ago, a moth flew out after he
had cleared the cobwebs. He would not shout, even if bitten by a shark.
In short, Dyke is a miserable, sadistic bastard who hates you and deservedly
is the MHMH.

Now me, the author, ITR. I know I can be a tad irritating at times but consider
this. How many trails have I set that do not go straight up? Hmmm, None! For
example, recent runs from the Wagon (with an unauthorize PS that Dyke tried
to stop!) and last weekend at the Fling. All flat with multiple trails, catering for
athletes and the weak and disabled. Can anyone recall a gut buster run I have
set? No! That is because I am considerate of all club members ability. I do not
sneer at, or hate club members. This cannot be said for the MHMH.
I am also generous. Please tell me if Dyke has ever shouted you a drink?
Silence? Hmm, not surprised. I, however, have shouted many drinks to
numerous hashers over the years. Why? Because I love you all. Remember this,
Dyke hates you. If you do not believe me, you will when struggling up hill on his
next trail.

I mention a comment, albeit from another hash club, made about myself from
Bad News thanking me for the help and assistance I had provided over the past
year, “Thank you ITR, perhaps the most maligned man in hash” (H5 Annual Report 2025). Does anyone know of a similar comment made about the Most Hated Man
in Hash, Dyke? I think not.

So, there it is fellow hashers. The choice is yours. I have no doubt that forces
behind the scenes (Grizzly) will conspire to rig this vote to the detriment of
myself. Just remember, whereas I love you all, Dyke loathes you!
The choice is yours.

On On
ITR

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Nancy Boy

• The Hare: Chris Miss
• C#ntry members: Hands On.
• Snack Bar: Managed to get his car bogged at the Fling.
• Snack Bar: Did the clothing optional run at the Fling carrying his undies. He was a bit worried that one of his fellow clothing optionals would steal them.
• Hands On: Rode 3000km without a bike seat.
• Griz and Morticia: Both decided to take a short cut home from the Fling and got back 2.5 and 3 days later respectively.
• Prickit, C#n’t Stop, Snack Bar, Fringe Benefits etc etc: For wearing their animal onesies …
• Jack Sh*t: Happy birthday fark ewe.
• Poley: Crusher has moved to Growler’s house to look after her pussy, so Poley relishing in his freedom has been running around the house nude until he discovered that Tits Up was still there.
• C#n’t Stop and Snack Bar: Forgot to give their names for their meals contributing to the usual Fox Friday burger f*ck up … although I hear that Maxi’s was the one that didn’t turn up.
• C#n’t Stop: Assures us that he got another skol but can’t remember what it was for.
• Probably a few more but the Hon Sec was away and no one took down the skols.

Skols from the floor:

• Poley>ITR: ITR took this week’s run theme a bit too seriously and left a set of skid marks on Poley’s bed at the Fling.

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NEXT RUN

Run 1478: 19 June 2025
HARE APPARENT: Cumonion
STARTING FROM: Buckingham Bowls Club
RUN REPORTER: Grassroots
$20 run fee, buy your own drinks at the venue.

A note from the Hash Hops: Now that daylight savings is over, p*ss stops will be for special themed runs or to coincide with other events such as birthdays. If you would like a p*ss stop outside of this, please contact the JMs

RECEDING HARELINE

Roll up! Roll up! 
Check your diaries and tell Morticia when and where you might like to set a trail this year.  If you don’t know how to set one. Find a friend who can to help you!

RUN	DATE	HARES	VENUE	REPORTER
1478	19 June	Cumonion	Buckingham Bowls Club (4 St Johns Ave Newtown)	Grassroots
1479	26 June	Arsecutter	TBA	Brazilian
1480	3 July	Brazilian	TBA	Jack Shit
1481	10 July	Wee Bev, Crusher, Cereal Box, Snack Bar	TBA	Arsecutter

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1477