The CHARDONNAY BUGLE
Volume 27 Issue 28
Chardonnay’s Tour de Pisse – R*n 1483
24 July 2025 from the Civic Club
Hare: Prickit and C#n’t Stop
Run Reporter: Xena (with some assistance from Microsoft Copilot)
When the run reporter leaves you in the lurch and you have 24.35 seconds to send out the Trash before the emails start rolling in asking where next week’s run is, the most efficient thing to do is use AI to develop a run report for you. According to Microsoft Copilot the following went down at last week’s Tour de Pisse:
This year’s annual Tour de Pisse was a golden stream of success, with five strategically placed piss stops that would make even the most seasoned bladder proud (Hon Sec note: I think Copilot might have mistaken CH3 p*ss stops with those of the bladderal persuasion, but we’ll go with it for now). From the ceremonial first leak behind the Cascade Brewery to the final triumphant tinkle near the Rivulet Café, runners relieved themselves with gusto and grace. The hydration strategy? Drambuie and Cowboys of course – because nothing says “athletic excellence” like liquid gold and a questionable sense of direction.
South Hobart was treated to a spectacle of lycra and laughter as the pack frolicked through its leafy streets. Locals were either delighted or deeply confused by the sight of grown adults skipping past heritage homes with bike helmets on while chanting “On On!” and debating where the next p*ss stop would be. One brave soul attempted a cartwheel on the Rivulet track, proving once and for all that Drambuie is not a performance enhancer.
As the temperature dropped and the final piss stop was ticked off like a badge of honor, the pack gathered for the traditional debrief: a mix of storytelling, exaggerated injuries, and a toast to the bladder’s resilience. Whether you ran, walked, or simply showed up for the wine, this year’s Tour de Pisse was a splash hit. Until next time, keep your corks popped and your stops frequent—Chardonnay H3 forever!
On On, Xena (and her Copilot wingperson).
DOWN DOWNS
Lip: Nancy Boy
- Prickit and C#n’t Stop: The Hares
- C#ntry Members: C#n’t Run, Pee Wee and Brazilian.
- Pee Wee: for going out on the p*ss with his sons after Hash and showing his t*ts to the ladies.
- C#n’t Run: Pussy Galore and Buddha turned up to Hash rightly wearing their Tour de Pisse regalia and C#n’t Run thought they had cycled all the way from Howrah.
- Buddha: Tried on several cycling jerseys before finally finding one that fit,
- Red Dress: couldn’t fit his feet in the peddles and was aptly called a Peddle File.
- Sonar, C#n’t Stop and Snack Bar: team of the night – the West Ireland Teletubbies.
Skols from the floor:
- Dyke>C#n’t Stop and Prickit: lost property – Prickit’s garter from their wedding day nine years ago.
- Poley>Snack Bar: at the fourth p*ss stop, Snack Bar was overheard complaining that there wasn’t any Kilkenny, then buys himself a Boags Light at the Civic Club.
- In The Raw>Pee Wee: Pee Wee’s German Shepherd died under his house, so Pee Wee threw a chain on his 4WD and dragged it out.
- Arsecutter>C#n’t Stop: made Arsecutter give his beer ticket back due to an “admin error”.
- Buddha> Jugs: OCD due to the 10,000 cleaning products in the men’s toilets.
- Jugs>C#n’t Run, Nancy Boy and Crusha: hats on at the bar.
NEXT RUN
Run 1484: 31 July 2025
HARE APPARENT: Sonar
STARTING FROM: The Paddy Wagon Irish Pub (just across the road from Vasectomy Australia according to Google Maps!)
RUN REPORTER: Crusha
$5 run fee, buy your own food and drinks at the venue.
A note from the Hash Hops: Now that daylight savings is over, p*ss stops will be for special themed runs or to coincide with other events such as birthdays. If you would like a p*ss stop outside of this, please contact the JMs
A note from the JMs: A polite reminder to Hashers to please not BYO drinks (including from the p*ss stop) into a licensed venue. This can result in fines for both us and the venue and may jeopardize our ability to return for future events.
RECEDING HARELINE
Roll up! Roll up!
Check your diaries and tell Morticia when and where you might like to set a trail this year. If you don’t know how to set one. Find a friend who can to help you!
| RUN | DATE | HARES | VENUE | REPORTER |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1485 | 7 August | Gingernuts | TBA | Nancy Boy |
| 1486 | 14 August | Tic Toc and Bart | The Beltana Hotel | Dyke |
| 1487 | 21 August | Herr Flick and Wee Bev | TBA | TopDek |
| 1488 | 28 August | Yes Please | TBA | Sonar |
UP CUMMING EVENTS
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
MISMANAGEMENT 2025
Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.
Run reports: Please send directly to Xena by Sunday lunchtime at melaniebryant2901@gmail.com
If you are away the week you have been nominated to do a run report, could you please let Xena know so that a replacement can be organised.
| GRAND MASTER | Herr Flick |
| JOINT MASTERS | Dyke & Pole Dancer |
| ON SEC | Xena: melaniebryant2901@gmail.com |
| HASH CASH | Can’t Stop & Sonar |
| HASH HOPS | Clearfell & Chris Miss |
| TRAILMASTER | Morticia |
| HASH LIPS | Nancy Boy & Spoof |
| HASH FLASH | Gingernuts |
| HASH HORN | Snack Bar |
The Chardonnay Bugle 
Leave a comment