Chardonnay’s Winter in the Tropics Run
14 August 2025 from The Beltana Hotel
Hare: Tic Toc and Bart
Run Reporter: Dyke

Beltana Hotel, Bart & Tic Toc Run Report 

ChatGPT

You said:

Can you help me write a short travel report?

ChatGPT said:

I’d be happy to help! Could you let me know a bit more about your trip? Things like where you went, what you did, any highlights, and what kind of tone you’d like for the report (e.g., formal, casual, reflective)?

You said:

A humourous Hash run report

ChatGPT said:

Great, this sounds like an awesome event! Here’s a casual and humorous take on your travel report:

Beltana Hotel Hash House Harriers Run – A Hilarious Journey Through 5km of Fun (Running and Walking)

What do you get when you gather 31 Hash House Harriers, a few questionable running shoes, and a handful of determined walkers? A slightly chaotic but thoroughly entertaining 5km run that ends with very full bellies and an even fuller circle of shenanigans.

Our journey began at the ever-reliable Beltana Hotel, where the true meaning of “pub grub” was about to take on a whole new level of importance. The day started with two options: a 3km walk for those who preferred to take it slow (and maybe avoid too much sweat) and a 5km run for the more adventurous, or perhaps just those who wanted to get the whole thing over with faster.

The Walkers’ Grand Adventure

The walk took us through some truly scenic (and slightly confusing) backroads of the area. We started down Malunna Rd, which sounds lovely until you realize it’s a straight line of pavement with not a single public bathroom in sight. Lowanna Rd, the East Derwent Highway, and Tianna Road all got their moments in the sun, but the highlight? Definitely Edgewood Castle—less “castle” and more “impressive mansion with questionable landscaping choices.”

From there, Rowitta Rd led us to a picturesque zigzag down to the waterfront, where the Rowing Club looked surprisingly unenthusiastic about our arrival. No one stopped for a race, but we did pause to catch our breath (mostly because we were walking past the boats and they looked suspiciously like they might go faster than us).

Runners, Beware!

Meanwhile, the real athletes (aka the runners) were off to conquer the world—or at least the Esplanade, as they dashed past the Dimbord historical landmark, making their way along the Rose Bay foreshore. A scenic run for sure, but it’s hard to appreciate a beautiful view when you’re focused on breathing and wondering if you’ve taken the wrong turn… (spoiler: you didn’t).

The Grand Finish Line

After the runs and walks had concluded (and most importantly, after everyone was back safely at the hotel), it was time for the real highlight of the day: the feeding frenzy. Pies, roasts, fish, and a suspiciously large amount of gravy were served. The Beltana’s kitchen really outdid itself, proving that sometimes the key to a good meal is just a side of carbs and a lot of enthusiasm. The circle? As raucous as you might expect from 31 very hungry people who’d been running and walking all morning.

And thus concluded our unforgettable (and mildly exhausting) adventure at the Beltana Hotel. Will we return next time? Well, after that gravy? Absolutely.

On on 

DykeGPT

“Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once and you’ll suck forever.”

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Nancy Boy and Spoof

• The Hare: Tic Toc
• Tic Toc: The locals complained we were too noisy, but it was just Tic Toc. As penance, she was given a minute’s silence but lasted 0.000045 of a second without saying something.
• Growler: Tried to run over Ted on the walk.
• Uber: Would rather watch Collingwood lose than come to Hash.
• Dyke: Missed a free run last week.
• C#n’t Stop, Hands On and Dyke: For wearing booties to Wednesday Bike Hash.
• Poley: Loves his sleep and won’t get out of bed to run anything less than 5km.
• Prickit: Left her cycling shorts on the line in the rain and tried to dry them with the hair dryer while she had them on.
• Jack Sh*t: Has been in the wars of late. His latest injury is to his hand doing something dubious.
• Herr Flick: Lost property on behalf of Wee Bev who left her specimen cup behind.
• Millstone: Tic Toc 150 runs.
• Can’t Remembers: Tic Toc, C#n’t Stop, Jack Sh*t, Tarzan’s Grope, Chris Miss, Smallgoods, Luv Shack.

Skols from the floor:

• Jack Sh*t>Herr Flick: Went to Ningaloo and since he visited, the reef has suffered from coral bleaching.
• Herr Flick>Playpussy: Made the bar staff pour Nancy Boy’s pint out and give him a six ounce – alcohol abuse.

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NEXT RUN

Run 1487: 21 August 2025
HARE APPARENT: Herr Flick and Wee Bev
STARTING FROM: The Globe Hotel
RUN REPORTER: Top Dek
$5 run fee, buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

A note from the Hash Hops: Now that daylight savings is over, p*ss stops will be for special themed runs or to coincide with other events such as birthdays. If you would like a p*ss stop outside of this, please contact the JMs

A note from the JMs: A polite reminder to Hashers to please not BYO drinks (including from the p*ss stop) into a licensed venue. This can result in fines for both us and the venue and may jeopardize our ability to return for future events. 

RECEDING HARELINE

Roll up! Roll up! 
Check your diaries and tell Morticia when and where you might like to set a trail this year.  If you don’t know how to set one. Find a friend who can to help you!

RUN	DATE	HARES	VENUE	REPORTER
1488	28 Aug	Lone Arranger	4 Wigram Court, Old Beach	Sonar
1489	4 Sept	Uber and Snack Bar	TBA	Red Dress
1490	11 Sept	Yes Please	TBA	Gingernuts

UP CUMMING EVENTS

8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1486

MISMANAGEMENT 2025

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.

Run reports: Please send directly to Xena by Sunday lunchtime at melaniebryant2901@gmail.com

If you are away the week you have been nominated to do a run report, could you please let Xena know so that a replacement can be organised.

GRAND MASTER	Herr Flick
JOINT MASTERS	Dyke & Pole Dancer
ON SEC	Xena: melaniebryant2901@gmail.com
HASH CASH	Can’t Stop & Sonar
HASH HOPS	Clearfell & Chris Miss
TRAILMASTER	Morticia
HASH LIPS	Nancy Boy & Spoof
HASH FLASH	Gingernuts
HASH HORN	Snack Bar