Chardonnay’s AFL Grand Final Run
27 September 2025 from Ewing Avenue, Kingston Beach
Hares: Chris Miss
Run Reporter: Xena

It was a small but quality gathering at the annual AFL Grand Final run, which seemed to be a repeat of last year where the Old Fitzroy Boys/Brisbane Lions completely annihilated their opponents. With Griz and LA out of the country, the weather Gods turned it on with winds of biblical proportions coming from every direction to the point that Chris Miss had to perform some live haring to ensure that we had a trail. True to Kingston Beach hashing, the trail only had one hill, which happened to be the largest hill in Kingston and was a necessity to make it to the p*ss stop.

Luckily the winds calmed down at the p*ss stop long enough for us to be greeted by a car full of local lads drawing on the depths of their vocabulary by yelling out the window something about Essendon not being in the finals and that we were a bunch of retards. If only they knew …

Back at the On Home the mistimed lip session commenced (clearly Flicky had finished his lunch in Kunanurra by then) but was interrupted by Snoop Dog dropping it like it’s hot in preparation for kick off. As a bunch of eager Hashers anxiously awaited the outcomes of their highly informed and well thought through quiz answers, Maximus was pacing anxiously in the back corner practicing his E Ihowa Atua, O ngā iwi mātou rā in anticipation of the All Blacks v Wallabies kick off at Eden Park at 3.05pm Australian time. Luckily the pre-game haka coincided with quarter time in the AFL grand final, giving Maxi the chance to show off his Duolingo skills, singing the New Zealand National Anthem in Māori and English.

We know what happened the rest of the game, but most importantly, what happened in the quiz???? According to Chardonnay’s in-house AFL statistician Chris Miss, the following events too place: 23 Hashers completed the quiz. As usual there were some entertaining answers. Special mention to Twinkle Toes, who had a complete mish mash of answers across many sports codes but still managed to score 20 points! She clearly wanted her money back. Second last was a three-way battle between Xena, Growler and Lewis Gibson (youngest son of Red Dress) all scoring 25 points. 

The biggest conundrum this year was the amount of players named ‘Cameron’. Murray The Rat played it safe and just put Cameron for every answer that required a player name. This worked well for him and some others. If Can’t Stop could spell Cameron he would have romped home for the win. Sadly, I couldn’t see a player named Camon! 

Soft Cock was the only hasher to get the points margin at quarter time correct. Nancy Boy and Pee Wee were the only hashers to get the 19 point three -quarter time margin correct. .Org (son of Red Dress), was the only hasher to get the number of lead changes correct. Yes Please, Can’t Stop and Red Dress were the only hashers to pick Will Ashcroft for the Norm Smith medal. Soft Cock was closest to the mark for official attendance, with 100, 021. Prickit will be left wondering who the two pricks were that didn’t go through the gate for the absolute MCG capacity of 100,024! 

Thanks to all who completed the quiz. The winner takes all will be announced on Thursday.

DOWN DOWNS

Lips: Spoof and Nancy Boy

• The Hares: Chris Miss
• Millstone: Red Dress – 900 runs
• .Org: For winning last year’s quiz and for being a Can’t Remember
• Spoof: Went the wrong way on trail never to be seen again by the walkers, but managed to appear on queue at the p*ss stop.
• Crusha and Pee Wee: Hashed the guts out of the NDIS walk.
• Pee Wee and Murray The Rat: Demonstrated the occupational hazards of putting on a p*ss stop by drawing blood trying to get from the footpath onto the beach.
• Can’t Remembers: Swallow, Yes Please.
• Clearfell, Brazilian, Prickit and Xena: Essendon supporters waiting patiently for their time to come.
• Prickit and C#n’t Stop: Have they christened the van yet?
• Maximus: For being taken away from his beloved All Blacks to endure the AFL Grand Final.
• Spoof: Self-imposed skol for not following trail.
• Swallow/Nancy Boy: Nancy Boy for navigating the back yard barriers and bears to have a leak behind the shed when he could have just used the loo. Swallow for being a fabulous grand final day host.

NEXT RUN

Run 1494: 2 October 2025
HARE APPARENT: Murray The Rat
STARTING FROM: Midway Point Tavern
RUN REPORTER: Sonar
$5 run fee, buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

Roll up! Roll up! 
Check your diaries and tell Morticia when and where you might like to set a trail this year.  If you don’t know how to set one. Find a friend who can to help you!

UP CUMMING EVENTS

3 November | Combined Clubs Charity Run (supporting MND Tasmania) @ RYCT
26 November 2025 | Hobart Hash Harem 1400th Run @ Queens Head Hotel
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1493

Herr Flick and Wee Bev enjoying Grand Final day from Kunanurra … Disappointed that there wasn’t a streaker, Flick decided to scare the local kiddies and the saltwater crocodiles with his own version of the Grand Final Day streak.

MISMANAGEMENT 2025

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.

Run reports: Please send directly to Xena by Sunday lunchtime at melaniebryant2901@gmail.com

If you are away the week you have been nominated to do a run report, could you please let Xena know so that a replacement can be organised.