The CHARDONNAY BUGLE
Volume 27 Issue 54
Chardonnay’s Layer Up Trail
8 January from Berriedale Bay Reserve
Hare: Topdek
Run Reporter: Grizzly
The first trail of a new calendar year is typically quiet, even if it isn’t. The first trail of the new calendar year, that is. Hashers are still in holiday mode, even though the vast majority are now on one long, never ending holiday.
For Hare Topdek, setting from Berriedale is the safe option, meandering along the foreshore track, before turning tail for home. This was made somewhat more difficult by an overnight downpour that erased much of the trail and required resetting.
We probably could have completed the trail blindfolded, but holidaying WA Hasher Ringburner and two not-quite-unsuspecting rellies from the nation’s capital (Liz and Peter had their virgin Hash on Monday, so knew what to expect) may have hit Bridgewater before realising that ‘wild Tasmania’ works on multiple levels.
Yes, a quiet start to the new year.
Until Can’t Stop arrived.
The grapevine was buzzing with news of Can’t Stop’s milestone. Hashers were eager to congratulate him on his achievement. The congratulations took many forms, begining with a cake made by Grassroots. This was to be a deconstructed cake, starting with a kilo of flour, after which 3-star Michelin Man In The Raw broke out his family’s beer-cake recipe and created a lumpy batter.
All good cake recipes benefit from resting, so we took off on trail. Sure enough, the foreshore track beckoned, with Herr Flick and Spoof excitedly checking other options along the way. I imagine that they still believe in Santa.
Once the walkers’ trail turned off the track, temptation loomed large in the form of ‘The Mont’ and promise of a cold beverage. It appeared that this was too much for In The Raw, who was not sighted again for quite some time. Strangely, it wasn’t a pint of Coopers Pale that had waylaid him, but a shopping trip to get some more cake-making materials.
It took a while to realise that Ringburner had not returned, but neither Liz or Peter were concerned. They obviously had the keys.
It is said that too many cooks spoil the broth, but this was cake, so Growler and Morticia had a dabble with some additional liquids. Can’t Stop looked all overcum. Of course, there’s always someone who wants to lick the beaters, and Snack Bar decided that his kiddies chocolate custard was too good for Can’t Stop.
With both Hops away, the Hare arranged an emergency p!ss stop, before returning with a feed of ‘tits and thighs’, and all was quiet, except for the strange plopping sound coming from Can’t Stop.
On! On! Grizzly
Hashers lining up to congratulate Can’t Stop on 1250 Runs!
DOWN DOWNS
Lips: Nancy Boy and Spoof
- Topdek: the Hare
- Herr Flick and Hands On: Alcohol abusers.
- Topdek: Didn’t arrange the p!ss stop; rebounded to Nancy Boy because obviously we DID have a PS.
- Grizzly: spelling mistake in the Trash (just one?), despite Grizzly having nothing to do with its production.
- Ringburner (Perth/Freo), Peter & Lizzie (Canberra): visitors.
- In The Raw: disappeared from trail, thought to have stepped into the ‘Mont’ for a beer, but went grocery shopping instead.
- Snack Bar: was handed a chocolate kiddie custard for Can’t Stop’s ‘celebration’; ate it instead.
- Can’t Stop: 1250th Run.
- Uber: Can’t Stop not allowed in Prickit’s car, will have to call for an Uber home.
- Dyke & Herr Flick: didn’t help ‘celebrate’ Can’t Stop’s milestone for fear of retribution.
- Skols from the floor:
- Grizzly -> Sonar: Had the campervan at Hash, but wouldn’t offer Can’t Stop a shower.
- Ringburner -> Peter and Lizzie: Only recently taken up running and are now fitter and faster than him; rebounded (by Nancy Boy) to Ringburner for being a slow, fat bastard. Nancy Boy also skolled for being ironic.
- Nancy Boy -> Peter & Lizzie: Chardonnay virgins. (Not really ‘from the floor’, if the Lip does it, is it.)
By popular demand…
Chardonnay’s Cumming Song
Melody – Coming Round the Mountain
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
So lift your skirt or drop your strides
We’re gonna fill you full of pride
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
So bend yourself right over
Relax and think like Rover
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
Ye – Har !
NEXT RUN
Run 1509: 15 January 2026 – 6:31 pm
HARE APPARENT: Pee Wee and Satin
STARTING FROM: 74 Hookey Street, Rokeby
RUN REPORTER: Topdek
$20 run fee, food included BYO drinks.
RECEDING HARELINE
| RUN | DATE | HARES | VENUE | REPORTER |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1510 | 22 Jan | The JMs AGPU Retro Hash theme Wear your original club’s (or oldest) Hash shirt | Hobart Workers Club | Wee Bev |
| 1511 | 29 Jan | Chris Miss | Montagu Bay Reserve | Morticia |
| 1512 | 5 Feb | TBA | TBA | TBA |
UP CUMMING EVENTS
31 January | Hobart Full Moon H3 High Noon for Full Moon @ Waddamana
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
MISMANAGEMENT 2025
Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the Facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.
Run reports: Please send directly to Xena by Sunday lunchtime at melaniebryant2901@gmail.com
If you are away the week you have been nominated to do a run report, could you please let Xena know so that a replacement can be organised.
| GRAND MASTER | Herr Flick |
| JOINT MASTERS | Dyke & Pole Dancer |
| ON SEC | Xena: melaniebryant2901@gmail.com |
| HASH CASH | Can’t Stop & Sonar |
| HASH HOPS | Clearfell & Chris Miss |
| TRAILMASTER | Morticia |
| HASH LIPS | Nancy Boy & Spoof |
| HASH FLASH | Gingernuts |
| HASH HORN | Snack Bar |
The Chardonnay Bugle 
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