The CHARDONNAY BUGLE
Volume 27 Issue 55
Chardonnay’s Founding Farther Trail
15 January from Hookey Street, Rokeby
Hare: Pee Wee
Run Reporter: Rokeby Red
It’s been a while since we ventured into the wilds of Rokeby. Was it still wild, or had it been gentrified in much the same way that Moonah had changed from ‘north of Creek Road’ to ‘Little North Hobart’.
Some imagination is required, but you get the drift.
Pre-trail entertainment was provided by Pee Wee’s erection. It was ‘quite big’, I heard Morticia claim. ‘Quite a handful’ Lone Arranger agreed. After some rough handling we managed to get the marquee up and covered, just in time for the rain to stop and the wind to pick up.
Hare Pee Wee had set three trails of indeterminable length, because Pee Wee thinks that Strava is a Greek island.
The runners’ pack consisted of Wee Bev, Can’t Stop and — nominally — Sonar. Everybody else took one of the other options on offer, or if you were Uber and Growler, one they made up themselves.
The trail itself was straight out of Baden-Powell’s Handbook of Tying Up Boy Scouts, looping in and out of every laneway within a decent punt kick of ‘home’.
Herr Flick noted how quiet it was. No sight or sound of kids screaming, parents yelling, or dogs barking, although I knew from the particular waft where they were. Dogs, that is.
Every now and then Dyke would appear in the distance ahead of us, but our rear-gunners Hands On and Prickit were nowhere to be seen. Then when trail over-shot the Hookey Street turn-off and toward Rokeby Road we knew that the others did had the right idea.
Ultimately, the fast-mincing walkers came in having covered over six kilometres, to find the other packs already back and had first and second dibs of the barbecued meat and salads. (The salads weren’t barbecued.)
The Greek island map did indeed tell a tale of how to make full use of your terrain. Thanks Pee Wee, but next time take a tape measure and work out how far you’ve gone when setting trail!
DOWN DOWNS
Lip: Spoof
- Pee Wee: the Hare
- Pee Wee, Swallow & Jim Beam: C’ntry members
- Swallow for having new footwear – Barefoot runners
- Hands on & Jim Beam & Pee Wee: Dog-handlers of the day
- Hands on. Put the dog in the car & forgot to turn off the internal alarm. Needless to say the dog set it off! Ruining the peace in the neighbourhood!
- Growler: At Posh Hash. Metro turned up and she apparently said “Who is that? He looks like Metro… but older!”
- Metro: for being that old man
- Sonar: for splitting his pants getting up for his skol
- Sonar: Makes out like he is a gun runner. Set off as a runner but came in on the NDIS trail
- Morticia: for announcing the AGPU… not her job!
- Skols from the floor:
- Morticia -> Spoof: For bringing along and expecting us to drink warm chardonnay
- Dyke -> Can’t Stop: Dyke has Been chasing up old awards. Found through photographic evidence that C’nt Stop was the last one to get presented with the ‘Get a life’ trophy (in 2019). He has held onto one for 6 years!!!
- Prickit ->Can’t Stop: At Last week’s milestone. C’nt Stop got duly creamed. Went home & cleaned up but when he woke up in the morning he couldn’t hear. Had to go to the doc to get his ears cleaned out. Told the doc he had no idea how it happened!
- Dyke announced AGPU. Free run. Buy your own meal!.
- Spoof asked Metro to lead us off in the song. Unfortunately he didn’t know the words!!
By popular demand…
Chardonnay’s Cumming Song
Melody – Coming Round the Mountain
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
So lift your skirt or drop your strides
We’re gonna fill you full of pride
We’ll be coming around to mount ya then we’ll cum
(then we’ll cum)
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
So bend yourself right over
Relax and think like Rover
We’ll be drinking Chardonnay when we cum
(when we cum)
Ye – Har !
NEXT RUN
Run 1510: 22 January 2026 – 6:31 pm
ANNUAL GENERAL P!SS UP
Retro Hash Theme – wear your oldest ‘Hash club of origin’ shirt
HARE APPARENT: The Joint Masters
STARTING FROM: Hobart Workers Club, Level 2/74 Elizabeth St, Hobart
RUN REPORTER: Wee Bev
FREE run – PS and drink ticket for drink at the bar included, BYO meals
RECEDING HARELINE
| RUN | DATE | HARES | VENUE | REPORTER |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1511 | 29 Jan | Chris Miss | Montagu Bay Reserve | Morticia |
| 1512 | 5 Feb | TBA | TBA | TBA |
| 1513 | 12 Feb | TBA | TBA | TBA |
UP CUMMING EVENTS
31 January | Hobart Full Moon H3 High Noon for Full Moon @ Waddamana
8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
MISMANAGEMENT 2025
Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the Facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.
| GRAND MASTER | Herr Flick |
| JOINT MASTERS | Dyke & Pole Dancer |
| ON SEC | Xena: melaniebryant2901@gmail.com |
| HASH CASH | Can’t Stop & Sonar |
| HASH HOPS | Clearfell & Chris Miss |
| TRAILMASTER | Morticia |
| HASH LIPS | Nancy Boy & Spoof |
| HASH FLASH | Gingernuts |
| HASH HORN | Snack Bar |
The Chardonnay Bugle 
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