RECEDING HARELINE

RUN No.	DATE	HARE	ON-ON VENUE	RUN REPORTER
1520	2 Apr	In The Raw	TBA
1521	9 Apr	Fringe Benefits	TBA
1522	16 Apr	Lone Arranger	TBA
1523	23 Apr	HARE NEEDED

See Arsecutter to lock in trail-setting your dates!

UP & CUMMING

8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

RUN REPORT

Chardonnay’s Something in the Éire Trail
19 March from Legacy Park, Queens Domain
Hare: Snack Bar
Run Reporter: Growler GPT

The primary objective of this esteemed and historically significant Hash report is, of course, to include every single person who graced us with their presence, 34 Hashers in the pack. I believe I have absolutely nailed it… or at the very least, confidently missed only a few.

For the benefit of newer Hashers, a little royal trivia: Queen Mary’s sister Jane—known in more dignified circles as “Legs”—once ran with the Hash Harem. And yes, the name was well-earned. Anyway, there I was, perfectly positioned, front and centre, as Mary and Fred approached. Eye contact was made. History was written. And yes—I secured the money shot. Australian Women’s Weekly are circling, Pulse Tasmania is on hold, and The Mercury are no doubt preparing a full-page spread. You’re welcome.

But, duty called. Back to the real business: the St Patrick’s Day run.

I made my way to Legacy Park, where I underwent a quick costume change into my festive attire—a fine Temu acquisition.  In the car park, I encountered Vodka Cruiser, looking positively radiant in orange and green, as though she’d been personally styled by a leprechaun with excellent taste.

Upon entering Legacy Park, I sprang into action, capturing the arrivals of the Chardonnay pack, all gloriously decked out in shades of green, orange, or a questionable fusion of both. Uber was hard at work documenting names with the intensity of a census officer, while Cumonion ensured the plastic fantastic cards were being dutifully tapped.

A rare sighting of Jack Shit  delightful as ever—was a highlight. Spoof and Morticia were mid-conversation before I rudely interrupted them for a photo (art demands sacrifice). Crusher, unusually cooperative, even posed—an event so rare it nearly caused me to drop the camera.

Then, in a moment of pure Hashing magic, I stumbled upon Pee-Wee and Hooray—perfectly matched leprechauns, hats and beards included. Coincidence? Fate? A Temu bulk discount? We may never know.

Meanwhile, Fringe Benefits was performing culinary heroics, carving silverside like a seasoned pro, while Sonar stood nearby, hands on hips, silently radiating the energy of someone who would definitely have done it better.

And all this before the run had even started.

At precisely 6:31 (a time chosen, no doubt, for its dramatic flair), the hare—Snack Bar—delivered the briefing. Clad head-to-toe in matching tartan courtesy of Temu, complete with a matching bow tie (because why not), he explained the trail… and then explained it again… and then, just to be absolutely certain, explained it a third time. To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.

Off like a shot the front-running bastards—Can’t Stop, Hooray, Red Dress, Maximus—like greyhounds chasing glory, with Wee Bev in hot pursuit. The trail led across the oval, over the road, and into the scrub, eventually winding its way toward Cleary Gates and the Upper Domain Road, before settling into the now-famous Infinity Loop.

Brazilian and Prickit charged ahead, enthusiastically shouting “On! On! On!” while the rest of us adopted a more measured approach—some might say social. Arsecutter and Clearfell took the opportunity to catch up on life’s pressing matters, while Herr Flick observed, with mild resignation, that this appeared to be last week’s trail. “To be sure, to be sure,” indeed.

Fashion on the Infinity Loop was, as expected, dominated by the global powerhouses of SHEIN and Temu. Cumonion and Top Deck debuted fresh ensembles, while orange proved wildly popular among Grassroots, Xena, Gingernuts, Tarzan’s Grope, Slippery Nipple and Grizzly. Coordinated orange-and-green outfits were also a hit—symbolising unity, diversity, and a shared inability to pick just one colour.

The trail itself? Circular. Impressively so. Almost as if designed that way.

At the piss stop, controversy brewed. Where, people demanded, was the Kilkenny? This is St Patrick’s Day—a once-a-year event—not a casual Tuesday gathering. Standards must be upheld.

TAP, however, redeemed all with a dazzling spread of green-themed delights: wasabi peas, Japanese green beans, green popcorn, lollies, and both alcoholic and non-alcoholic jellies. For those suffering from Green Avoidance Syndrome, kettle chips were discreetly available—Lone Arranger among the cautious participants.

Conversations flowed as freely as the bubbly. Hands On and Prickit reminisced about Lake Leake adventures, while Drawbridge coached Crusher on the fine art of acquiring empty cans for recycling—an underrated skill.

The journey home was mercifully short—staggering distance, really—and we were greeted by Fringe Benefits serving pumpkin soup, because nothing says Irish celebration like… pumpkin.

The main course featured cold meats, salads, and rolls, accompanied by a spirited debate led by Pole Dancer on whether it’s called Belgium, German, Devon, or Bologna. His traumatic memories of warm Belgium sandwiches with tomato sauce clearly still haunt him from his school days.

The lip session, expertly conducted by Hands On and Uber, quickly descended into chaos—largely thanks to Can’t Stop, whose antics dominated proceedings. Prickit, thankfully, was driving, as his impressive collection of down-downs suggested he may have otherwise required a wheelbarrow.

Dessert arrived in the form of orange and green cakes, courtesy of TAP, who was also celebrating her 450th milestone—a feat achieved over what she modestly describes as “years and years and years.” A truly sloth-like but admirable pace.

And so, another legendary evening concluded. Laughter, chaos, questionable fashion, and just enough exercise to justify it all.

Until next year’s St Patrick’s Day run, it’s goodnight from your ever-dedicated, occasionally accurate, and always watchful Hash Flash.

Growler

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On & Uber

• Snack Bar & Fringe Benefits: Hare and Hare-assist. Remarkably similar to the previous week’s trail, particularly if you didn’t do the bush deviation (which most did not).
• Can’t Stop: Taking performance-enhancing drugs for his bike rides. Clearly supplied via Temu as they don’t appear to be working.
• Growler: Part of the paparazzi taking photos of Queen Mary and Prince Frederick, knocked over 20 kids to get the money shot.
• Growler: Got a professional plasterer in to fill her crack – now very smooth. Herr Flick wondered if she was now like a Barbie doll.

• Drawbridge, Grizzly, Growler, Jack Sh!t and Vodka Cruiser: C*untry members.
• Arsecutter, Can’t Stop, Drawbridge, Snack Bar and Sonar: The five dwarfs got p!ssed at the New Sydney on St Patrick’s Day.
• Can’t Stop: Followed this up with a guest appearance for the H5 trivia team and make a dick of himself, booing the opposition and talking loudly.
• Grassroots: Talking in the circle.
• TAP: 450 run milestone. Only took 20 years to achieve!
• Hooray and Xena: Going down together on the bush diversion.
• Cumonion and Grizzly: Wearing orange AND green – don’t know which side to support.
• Can’t Stop and Sonar: Dummy spitters because they didn’t get a Kilkenny at the PS.

Skols from the floor:

• Slippery Nipple -> Hooray: Took his hearing aids back to Spec Savers because they weren’t working, but now he can see much better.
• Jack Sh!t -> Herr Flick: Had the keys to Jack and Chris Miss’s small hybrid car; allegedly racked up thousands of kilometres in it to save money because his big ute uses too much fuel.
• Lone Arranger -> Fringe Benefits and TAP: Great work on food, PS nibbles and cake for tonight. Drawbridge: Complained about having to carry all the food from the car.
• Fringe Benefits: Cracked the shits because Snacky said ‘no sheilas’ at the New Sydney.

Announcements:

• The Joint Masters announced the the 2026 Highland Fling will be held at Giants’ Table and Cottages, Maydena. Shared accommodation in the cottages. Details to follow.

HASH FLASH

Photos from Run 1518

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026

GRAND MASTER	Grizzly
JOINT MASTERS	Grassroots & Slippery Nipple
ON SEC	Lone Arranger (Run reports to chardonnayh3@gmail.com by Sunday evening, please)
HASH CASH	Cumonion & In The Raw
HASH HOPS	Crusha & Topdek
TRAILMASTER	Arsecutter
HASH LIPS	Hands On & Uber
HASH FLASH	Growler
HASH HORN	Prickit