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UP & CUMMING

8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia
2-4 April 2027 | Aussie Nash Hash 2027, Adelaide (see Pee Wee’s missive, below)

RUN REPORT

Chardonnay’s Raw Deal for Snacky Trail
19 March from The Talbot Hotel
Hare: Snack Bar
Run Reporter: Xena

A smallish group of Hashers fronted up to a packed Talbot for the annual Easter run, where we were greeted to something that resembled a p*ssed version of locals bingo. Thank God Maximus insisted on being early because two seconds after walking in the door he was accosted by the Hash Cashiers for the weekly something to do with the square not working on someone’s phone. Thanks to Maxi’s superior IT skillz, all was saved and Snacky actually called the run early at 6.30 and 14 seconds, much to the dismay of the pack who insisted on waiting until 6.31pm before heading off.

Set by Snacky in a late change due to In The Raw being away (I could have sworn he was there on Hash Cash duties), the walkers were told that they would be doing approximately 4.79km with the runner’s trail measured by trundle wheel at 5.98km. Unfortunately, no p*ss stop or egg hunt, which meant that most of the walkers either stayed behind at the pub or walked to the corner and back. The walkers trail did a loop around New Town, with Griz, Poley, Slippery, Xena and Pee Wee leading the way up towards Bishop Street.

A lazy FT or two then lead the pack up Bay Road and past Runnymede House (where Xena did a paranormal investigation the weekend before), and up onto Risdon Road. According to Maxi’s Strava, the runners (consisting of Maxi and Tik Tok and perhaps one or two others who had disappeared by that point) continued up past the flannelette curtain with Maxi recording third best time on a Strava leg referred to as “A gentle probing of Kelvin’s back passage”, taking them back down Kelvin (passage) Avenue and onto Creek Road. We reckon Maxi and Tik Tok must have missed a split somewhere because they were next seen running down St Johns Avenue in the opposite direction to the walkers.

Back at the On Home, the meals arrived slowly but surely with C*n’t Stop causing a debacle by handing Brazilian Morticia’s steak sandwich minus the tomatoes. In the confusion, C*n’t Stop managed to drop half of it on the table, did a quick reassemble, then handed it back to Morticia as some kind of Norwegian style open sandwich. By this stage, Morticia had given up as she liked the look of Hooray’s bangers. A lively lip session was conducted by Hands On and Uber to the amusement of the civilians at the Talbot, with Hands On farking off for a while to warmer climes.  

On On, Xena

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On and Uber

• Hare: Snack Bar
• Cumonion and ITR: Dumb and dumber when it comes to the Hash Cash – bonus points for accosting Maximus the second he walked in to fix something related to the square that they couldn’t get working.
• Xena: Skol for taking over the Hash Cash after ITR lost the ability to tick names off the run sheet.
• Growler: Has a new pussy
• Hooray: Turned up to retirees’ bike Hash, forgot to unclip and fell off his bike.
• Sonar: His Strava on retirees’ Hash was a bit out of whack – logged 78km for a 12m ride.
• Can’t Stop: Too tight to pay for Prickit at Hash even though he secretly siphoned off millions from the club when he was Hash Cash
• Spoof: Left his wallet at home
• Can’t remembers:  Metro, Bart
• Can’t Stop: Ruined Morticia’s steak sandwich by dropping half of it on the table.
• Morticia: Never one to miss an opportunity, Morticia liked the look of the big bangers and got those instead
• Lost property: Sonar
• Uber: Collingwood getting flogged
• Crusha: New GM at H4
• Hands On – the fark off song.

Skols from the floor:

• Bart to ITR and Can’t Stop – for picking on Pee Wee
• Hands On to Pee Wee – no idea, no one cares
• ITR to Slippery and Hooray – barman mistook ITR for Hooray and offered him a coke
• Can’t Stop to Spoof – trying to get Can’t Stop to teach him to solder but his Temu solderer still isn’t working.

HASH FLASH

Photos from Run 1520

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026