Chardonnay’s Trench Foot Trail – R*n 1411
25 April 2024 from Waterfront Hotel, Bellerive
Hare: Hooray
Run Reporter: Lone Arranger

My mum used to say “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. Wee Bev says “That’s nay excuse to not to write a run report.”

The ANZAC Day Pack was always going to be on the small side, but a noisy corner of the pub and being adjacent to the Rat family gathering after Mistress‘ funeral made it sound like the middle of the MCG.

Wrectum advised that he’d been refused service, which was not totally unsurprising and was a warning to Herr Flick not to self-medicate after his toe was exorcised. (The only exorcise he gets of late.)

Hare Hooray led us outside to give instructions. He need not have bothered. The clear markings of ‘R’ left and ‘W’ right would be the last time we were confident of being on trail. Within 100m the front walkers were circling, then turning back, calling ‘no trail’. Running his own trail, Hooray shuffled past and called ‘on on’, so we headed back out around the Esplanade in the direction of disappearing calls from the Hare, but with only the odd vague arrow providing any comfort that this was actually a proper Hash trail and not a Can’t Stop ’20 minutes out and back’ bullshit.

The Hare would later blame Slippery Nipple, who had been tasked with setting the walkers’ trail. Slippery then blamed her dog for pissing on the trail markings. The dog said “In my defense, it was a piss-weak trail anyway.”

We made it to the play area behind Blundstone Areana and found zero trail. (Zero himself had long given up and was now ensconced in the bottom bar of the Hotel.)

The Pack splintered, heeding the one valid instruction by the Hare – be back by 7:30pm for the meals. Hooray was correct in saying that the walkers’ trail was under 5km, with most Strava records barely touching 3km, almost none of it on trail.

In true ANZAC spirit, Hooray had dived on the ‘Worst Trail of the Year’ grenade lobbed at Herr Flick the previous week. At least Flick had a better excuse than ‘my dog pissed on my homework…’

Lone Arranger

DOWN DOWNS

Both Slippery Nipple and Smallgoods were in attendance.

Hooray made an entrance with the Chardonnay Box.. It has had another facelift and now has a silvery knob! Lets try not to loose it again… Lips!

• The Hare: Hooray.. who insisted on blaming Slippery Nipple for the lack of hash markings on the trail which made it difficult for walkers and runners to follow trail! Poley insists he did all the run.. but Snack Bar and Wee Bev know otherwise!
• C’ntry Members: Argue, Pee Wee, Pussy Galore & Buddha
• Pussy Galore. – Purchased expensive lint remover ($85) advising Buddha that it would magically remove lint from their Hash gear. Apparently it did not work and Buddha found it in the trash! Pussy hadn’t removed the cap.
• Herr Flick: For not going out on trail. Gave some excuse about a foot in mouth tumour!
• Grizzly – for being a Volvo owner. It has had 13 sets of tyres to date… and required another when LA needed transport to Wynyard. She had to go in a 3 cylinder buzz-box rather than his precious Volvo!
• Wrectum – under the affluence of incohol he was found standing outside the male toilets looking forlorne…waiting for the automatic door to open! The door was not automatic.. just needed a push!
• Johnny Fuckacarcass – new shoes! (Dobbed in by Rotten!)
• Can’t Stop – wore his kilt  to Mistress’ wake. He fair shocked Prickle Doo who innocently lifted up the kilt to see what was underneath!! Prickle Doo almost required resuscitation!
• Pee Wee – for words of remembrance and reciting the Ode for the Fallen
  “They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old;
  Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn them;
  At the going down of the sun and in the morning
  We will remember them
  We will remember them.. Lest We forget!”
• Slippery – lost property. Her beanie was found by one of the walkers on one of the occasions when the were on trail!

Skols from the floor

• Grizzly -> Can’t Stop  Left Prickit at home doing his bookwork while he went out and got pissed.
• Arsecutter -> Hooray. There were so few chalk marks on the Hash that it could not possibly be considered for worst Hash of the year…. as the trail was not complete. More like a dot-to-dot competition!
• Visitors Liann and Michael (Mistress’ daughter and son) – Hashers since they were little. They showed Chardonnay how to do a proper down down. With their own PINT of beer, rather than two fingers worth!

Announcements
The Joint Masters made announcement about the Highland Fling.
Cost $120* includes Lunch and Dinner Saturday and breakfast Sunday. You will need to get your own dinner on Friday Night and breakfast Saturday Morning.
I recommend the RSL for Friday dinner, but call them and book. They are pretty busy!
Full info out shortly!
(*$100 if paid by 16 May 2024)

NEXT RUN

Run 1412 – 2 April 2024
HARE APPARENT: Xena
STARTING FROM: Fox Friday, 105 Murray St, Hobart
RUN REPORTER: Wee Bev (standing in for Herr Flick who is incapacitated and will be sacrificing himself by beer tasting at the venue!)
$5 run fee – buy your own food and drinks at the venue.

RECEDING HARELINE

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 7-9 June 2024 | Chardonnay Highland Fling @ Gowrie Park
• 24 June 2024 | Combined Clubs Charity Run in support of Gynaecological Cancer Research
• 28-30 March 2025 | Aussie Nash Hash 2025, Fremantle
• 8-10 May 2026 | Interhash 2026, Yogyakarta, Indonesia

HASH FLASH

All the photos from Run 1411

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.