Chardonnay’s Phantom Hasher Trail – R*n 1402
29 February 2024 from Kingborough Community Hub, Kingston
Hare: The Phantom Hasher
Run Reporter: Pole Dancer

The date is February 29^th 2024 and the Phantom Hasher has sent out an email from Skol Island to all Hashers to join Chardonnay H3 on Thursday to celebrate the Leap Year run. Because of issues of COVID, no passport or Mrs. Phantom wouldn’t allow him off the island to set this run ( f*ck knows he only has one job to do every four years) he had gone onto Map My Run, set his run virtually and emailed it to Grizzly. Grizzly being the delegator  then roped in Longley Hash House Harriette Brazilian to set the run, with help from a couple of cronies.

So we all gathered at the Kingston Hub lower BBQ area with more than a hand full of Monday night H5 Hashers turning up to join Chardonnay. Now H5 Hashers think Chardonnay Hashers are all gay, bi or tri so seldom join us for runs or our Highland Fling (except Honkers‘ cousin Bonkers) so it was so good to see them there, but they wouldn’t turn their backs to us lol. Getting close to the 6.31 starting time we got a call from the Phantom Hasher and was relayed his Hash run instructions thru Grizzly (never had realized the Phantom had a Scottish accent) the run was 5 miles and walk 3 miles so f*ck off.

So off the runners went with the walkers ambling along behind heading south on the Kingston Park Run course, which is hard on cold leg muscles on the concrete but soon we crossed Summerleas Rd onto the gravel walking/bike path. Out front were the gun runners of Chardonnay’s Maximus and H5’s Bee’s Dick and myself behind spurring them on to be completive. Soon we came to a barrier which had been set up to stop people using the newly laid concrete pathway thru the newish subdivision, but the trail went that way so I shimmied under the orange barrier and tried to get the jump on Maxi and Bee’s Dick. Did not last long. Soon there was a walkers’/runners’ split and we actually never spotted the walkers from the start till the promised P!ss Stop. From here we ran on pathways thru houses, streets till we came to the Twin Ovals. We ran back for a short period onto Summerleas Rd till we crossed onto another laneway which lead us to Nolan Cres/Willowbend Rd/Malachi Dr/Raft Crt, then onto a wallaby track which was covered with pine needles and slippery as buggery going down a steep incline. After a few close calls of nearly going arse over tit I made it to the creek crossing and the P!ss Stop. YAY!!!!

With a few of the andycapped non-athletes there already – plus Brazilian the run setter – the stories started about the trail with the beers and champers flowing and Dyke water bombing the remaining Hashers trying to cross the creek to join the P.S. Soon Red Dress joined us, having walked a couple of kms with his newish puppy who is half-poodle, half Goofy (the puppy I mean, Red Dress is just goofy). Red Dress was recovering from Man Flu, and received no sympathy from the Harriettes but plenty from us guys!!

It was then on back to the BBQ area to throw on some steaks while enjoying a beverage and wait for the Lip Session. It was nice to see the visiting H5 and Launceston Hasher Blah Blah Blah enjoying the real runners’ club, Chardonnay. Maybe a few might join us again. Then, for some reason, H5’s Bottom Lip Snack Bar tried to take control of the Lip session (maybe it was getting close to his bed time, or a live streaming story on Donald Trump) so various skols were handed out for f*ck ups ect. One was given to H5’s STEve, but he had buggered off after the run. Can’t be seen at Chardonnay’s ON ON/ Lip session!!! Slippery Nipple finally got her skols in; she is doing a great job and NOT taking any advice from HooRay ha ha, plenty of skols given out to the visitors as well.

Great night, wind died down so it was a balmy night. Well done to the Phantom Hasher for a well-planned out trail of some new territory – see ya all in four years for the next Phantom Hasher Run!!

ONY! ON! Poley

DOWN DOWNS

Thanks to Red Dress for taking notes for me while we were celebrating Herr Flick’s mum’s life.

• Phantom Hasher: poxy skol by Spoof and Brazilian.
• Blah Blah Blah, TwinkleToes, Bart – C*untry Members.
• Fox off song for those leaving for Interhash: Can’t Stop, Grizzly, Prickit, LaLa, Lone Arranger
• Griz & LA celebrating 42 years since LA proposed on 29 Feb
• Honkers for going down on the trail… gave some lame excuse about his feet being wet!
• Phantom Groupies: Cracker, Bee’s Dick, Coupla Weeks, Gingernuts, Honkers, Prawn Star, Thrill Seeker, Souvenir (sounded like visitors excepting the inclusion of LA!!!)
• Bee’s Dick .. keeper of bees was stung on the nose by one of his flock
• Souvenir, for foxing up her travel plans… so she had to stay with Spoof!
• Virgins: Alex & Dillon From Canberra
• Arsecutter for STILL not knowing where the Fling is to be held
• Snacky  for missing trail on two occasions… was he even trying to follow it?

UP CUMMING EVENTS

• 8-10 March – Interhash 2024 @ Queenstown, NZ
• 16 March – Bream Creek Show R*n
• 28-30 March 2025 – Aussie Nash Hash 2025 @ Fremantle, WA

All the photos from Run 1403

MISMANAGEMENT 2024

Contacts for committee members.. tho’ its just as easy to use messenger.. or just ask a stupid question on the facebook page… There will always be someone willing to give you an answer.