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RUN REPORT

Chardonnay’s Caulk The Cat Trail
11 June from Motor Yacht Club of Tasmania, Lindisfarne
Hare: Growler
Run Reporter: Luv Shack

This weeks’ trail was described by some as ‘well marked’ and by others as ‘an elaborate work of fiction’. After the usual get-a-lifers started arriving an hour before the start time and some managed to squeeze in two pints, the pack set off in good spirits, with the front runners – maybe one or two – disappearing into the distance, while the walkers adopted the more sensible strategy of enjoying the scenery and conserving energy for the refreshments to come.

Along the way there were the usual checks, false trails, and opportunities for vigorous discussion about whose fault it was that the group had ended up heading in completely the wrong direction. Special mention goes to Spoof, who managed to find a route not shown on any map and may still be attempting to rejoin the pack.

Thanks to the Hare Growler, who laid this week’s trail and managed to keep the pack entertained, exercised, and, in a few cases, geographically confused. As expected, the trail generated plenty of discussion, with some praising the clever route while others, of course, moaned and groaned as they usually have something to grumble about.

Back at the Motor Yacht Club, it quickly became apparent that this was going to be one of the biggest gatherings of the year. The room was packed, every seat seemed occupied, and late arrivals had to demonstrate advanced crowd-navigation skills just to find a place to sit.

The hungry masses then launched a coordinated assault on the food. The meal was outstanding… well, ok… and the Club deserves full credit for feeding a room full of Hashers without suffering a mutiny. Empty plates and satisfied faces told the story. Dyke was having such a great night he decided to join a ten-year-old’s birthday party just to steal a piece of cake. I can still hear the howling of the birthday boy running after Dyke to get his last piece of cake. No wonder he’s ‘the Most Hated Man in Hash’.

The circle was presided over by Uber, who demonstrated once again that facts should never be allowed to interfere with a good charge.

The circle delivered the usual mix of accusations, exaggerations, selective memory, and outright fabrication. Charges were laid, guilt was assumed, and down-downs were dispensed with customary enthusiasm. Whether for getting lost, taking a shortcut, arriving late, arriving early, or simply looking suspicious, offenders were brought before the circle and dealt with appropriately.

Thanks to the Motor Yacht Club for their hospitality, excellent food, and patience in accommodating a room packed to the gunwales with Hashers.

Great trail, great turnout, great food, and great company—a recipe for another memorable hash night.

On On!
This run report is brought to you by Luv Shack, with Can’t Stop’s helper 😊

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Uber

• Growler: Hare. “Not enough hills”, “How many back alleys has Growler shagged in”, etc.
• Hooray: wondered why a certain Hasher’s name wasn’t on the Honour Roll. Clue – you had to be dead.
• In The Raw: Scary Eyeball recruited as a stand-in 500 player, despite ITR considering her to be the worst player in history.
• Lone Arranger: wrote up seven pages of skols on the Fling Saturday, few of which her legible.
• Grizzly & In The Raw: lost property.
• Xena, Maximus, French Tickler and Morticia: c*untry members.
• Maxi and Jacques le Poo: hashy birthdays FU.
• Wee Bev – made mushroom soup on Sunday after the Fling, but the pot still contained the washing up liquid used to clean it before use. Might have tasted better using Pee Wee’s mushroom.

• Milestones:
  Smallgoods – 300 Runs (also presented with 300 Run cap and cunning cardboard replica badge)
  In The Raw – 453 Runs
  Morticia – 550 Runs
  Grizzly – 851 Runs
  Prickit – 1150 Runs

• Morticia – blonde skol number 1. Wondered how we got a boat up to Maydene for the Highland Fling ‘boat races’. (It came up with the horses for the steeplechase?)
• Vodka Cruiser: blonde skol number 2. Lined up alongside a group of people outside warming up, thinking that they were Hashers. Since when do Hashers warm up, without a pint in hand? (They were rowers.)
• Smallgoods: had a relative on the Honour Board – J.H. Smallhorn.
• Red Dress: far cough yak hunt – heading off on his bid interstate trip.
• Luv Shack: unemployed for one day. Headed to Centrelink tomorrow.
• Jack Sh!t: a group of Hashers were at the Albert for a birthday drink and entered the pub quiz. Jack correctly answered ‘Princess Peach’ to one of the questions. (Wouldn’t have been so smug answering that at the Derwent Tavern.)
• Xena and Maxi: won the aforementioned quiz, deep-pocketing $50.

Skols from the floor:

• Jack Sh!t -> Herr Flick & Growler: going around the back streets HF could pinpoint where Growler used to ‘play up’.
• Grizzly -> Dyke: piched a large chunk of ‘leftover’ birthday cake from a kiddie’s birthday party. Allegedly, the child came back afterwards to claim it and was left in tears.

HASH FLASH

Photos of Run 1533

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