RECEDING HARELINE

RUN No.	DATE	HARE	ON-ON VENUE	RUN REPORTER
1540	30 July	Pole Dancer	Alroy Court, Rosetta	Clearfell
1541	6 August	TBA	TBA	Grassroots
1542	13 August	TBA	TBA	Hands On

See Arsecutter to lock in your trail-setting dates!

UP & CUMMING

RUN REPORT

The annual Birthday Bash/Christmas in July-themed run epitomised, for me, what a great Hash night should be; a bit of adventure, a small team working seamlessly to present a great feast and good time for the masses, quite a few laughs, a few Fu%k ups and a great lip session which very unusually, ended with people hanging around long after The Song was sung. (Ok, that might have been because dessert was still to be had, but even after that, people hung around having a good time. It was nearly 11.00 o’clock by the time I arrived home. I’m usually in bed by 8.30.)

For me, the adventure started when Luv Shack demanded, “Make sure you don’t spill the gravy” A fairly onerous instruction given I had to negotiate a bus load of bogans with 10 litres of gravy on my lap. Luv Shack joined the bus at the Rosny Interchange, an area famous for screaming little shites causing havoc and trying to intimidate the “normal” commuters. Those same harassed commuters gave us a wide berth on the bus, with us being dressed in brightly badged Hash attire, said bucket of gravy and the addition of Luv Shack with party ballons and Christmas decorations in a carboard box, making an unusual (sad) sight.

We arrived at the Civic Club to find Wee Bev busy readying the kitchen after preparing a feast, setting a little bit of trail and bossing Herr Flick around all day. Normal day, at least the last part. Lone Arranger turned up with yummy potato bake and Cumming Soon presented with a truck load of lovely pav puffs, or whatever she decided to call them, which were warmly received later on.

A total 33 Hashers lined up in Christmas attire, plus Snack Bar who “I forgot”, didn’t, despite being one of the Honourees for the evening. It was great to see no absentees from the Birthday Bash crew, with Wee Bev, Crusha, Goblet, Cumming Soon, Snack Bar, Cereal Box and Luv Shack all in attendance.

Anyway, out the door we went with instruction from Wee Bev that Herr Flick would live-hare the bits she missed. We are used to seeing Wee Bev supervising her trails and filling in bits along the way and this was no different. Well, it was quite different actually, because Herr Flick didn’t seem to give a rat’s arse about live-hare stuff and instead went into live-tortoise mode, scratching arrows along the way for the two or three hashers still behind him while twenty or so in front were running all over the place trying to find trail.

Herr Flick could be heard yelling at various locations “Cross the road over there, no, not that way. That way. Stay on the left, there’s a lane down there. No…not that one, the other one. No not that other one, over the road, oh Fu&k.”

Eventually he realised no one could hear him over the traffic in any case and started to take his role a little more seriously, steering the pack in the general direction Wee Bev had intended. Unfortunately, we lacked the required PPE as we transited Bidencopes Lane and passed through showers of spray paint being applied vigorously to walls of the buildings along the route.

Despite the unorthodox trail – well, maybe call it a route or stroll as there wasn’t a whole lot of trail – Herr Flick managed to keep the pack reasonably intact. Dyke, sans his usual Ball Breaker attire, was often in front but the Dutch Bastard rarely called ‘On On’. No wonder he’s the most hated man in Hash.

Many pedestrians watched bemused as a sad collection of apparent Christmas revellers meandered through the city, around Franklin Square and into Parliament square, where patrons at Peppina looked aghast through the windows of their very upmarket restaurant, to see what looked like a bunch of Hobart’s finest homeless people / Christmas tragics warming their hands around the fire pot in the outside dining area. Well, most were warming their hands. Chris Miss was bending low over the fire warming “The Girls”.

Back up through St Davids Park into the South Hobart/Sandy Bay border region to the piss stop, which was a welcome sight and enjoyed by all. Well, mostly all. Spoof couldn’t find any beer.

Back at the Civic Club, the large pack crowded into the main bar and mingled closely. No choice really, it was fairly full. Wee Bev, Luv Shack, Cumming Soon were busy in the kitchen, ably supported during the night by Lone Arranger.

The food was pretty damn good. Turkey, sausage and bacon thingies, potato bake, vegies, gravy (shaken, not spilled) and cranberry sauce. Bloody delicious. The cooks wisely served the portions to make sure everyone had a feed and they were generous. There was plenty left over for Crusha and Dyke to go back for thirds and some others to have seconds.

The Lip Session was fun and after the usual talkers shut the fu#k up, it ran well, although Pole Dancer chose to take over the floor to make announcements during the skols from the floor session. After the song was sung, desserts prepared by Wee Bev and Cumming Soon kept everyone hanging around. No birthday cake though….hmmm. “I forgot”.

Even after desserts were consumed, Hashers lingered longer than usual, busy hands cleaned up the kitchen and what presented to me as one of the more enjoyable Hash nights in quite a while ensued. Great to see some not so regular faces there as well.

Thanks to all involved.
Smallgoods

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DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On & Uber

• Wee Bev & Herr Flick: Hares. “Good trail.” “Wee Bev’s bit was good.” 
• Chris Miss, Spoof & Cereal Box: World Cup loser Poms – it’s not coming home. 
• Cereal Box, Coming Soon, Crusha, Goblet, Luv Shack, Snack Bar & Wee Bev: Hashy birthday FUs.
• Growler: asked Uber and Snack Bar to come around to ’fix her up’. 
• Growler: phone always flat – must be on vibration mode. 
• Cumonion: charged Dyke $200 for tonight’s run. [Seems fair to me.]
• Luv Shack: despite having been to the Civic Club many times, thought that the bar was upstairs.

• Smallgoods and Jack Sh!t: both walked into the bar with their pants on back-to-front. [Were they walking in, or walking out?]
• Cereal Box, Coming Soon, Drawbridge, Fringe Dweller, Goblet, Scrotum, Tarzan’s Grope & TAP: Can’t remembers.
• Herr Flick: animal abuse. Tried to get Ted to hump ITR’s leg.
• Crusha: parked the ute containing the p!ss stop over a yellow line. 
• Andrew: new Civic Club bar keep [less Jugs, more Schooner].
• ITR and Snack Bar: mental giants. Added kilometres to the journey because they couldn’t follow the well-marked trail.
• Snack Bar: had one job to do. Forgot to bring the birthday cake. 
• Chris Miss: Chardonnay’s gun runner (when Maxi and Red Dress are away) said that she wasn’t running tonight because her santa costume was too tight. 

Skols from the floor:

• In The Raw -> Prickit: at the recent Hump Day Hash anniversary Prickit turned away ITR, who was hoping for a ‘quiet post-Hash drinkie’ in the camper. Undeterred, ITR hosted some Hump Day Hashers in his room, got pissed, and ended up sleeping with Blueprint. Blueprint filled up ITR’s bathroom sink with chunder and left it there for ITR to deal with.
• Prickit: ‘lost’ property.
• Grizzly -> Brazilian: tried to do an impression of a speed hump when crossing the road.
• Pee Wee -> Clearfell: pharma conspiracy. Pee Wee listed the stuff he has to take pills for and implied that big pharma (represented by the Father of Modern Medicine) was in cahoots with doctors.
• Smallgoods -> Hands On: needs to go to SpecSavers. Couldn’t spot Uber in the crowded bar even though he was standing directly behind her, then later was talking to Smallgoods about the skols, thinking that he was Uber. 

Announcements:

• Pole Dancer: trail Thursday week (30 July) will be “The Chardonnay Burning”. Catering by Vodka Cruiser and there will be fire pots. Write down your fears, sins or credit card PIN, to be burned and sent into the night.

Next week’s trail:

• Cooley’s Hotel in Moonah, as set by Dyke.

HASH FLASH

Photos of Run 1537

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026

GRAND MASTER	Grizzly
JOINT MASTERS	Grassroots & Slippery Nipple
ON SEC	Lone Arranger (Run reports to chardonnayh3@gmail.com by Sunday evening, please)
HASH CASH	Cumonion & In The Raw
HASH HOPS	Crusha & Topdek
TRAILMASTER	Arsecutter
HASH LIPS	Hands On & Uber
HASH FLASH	Growler
HASH HORN	Prickit