RECEDING HARELINE

RUN No.	DATE	HARE	ON-ON VENUE	RUN REPORTER
1554	29 Oct	Smallgoods	TBA	Red Dress
1555	5 Nov	Uber	TBA	Snack Bar
1556	12 Nov	Growler	Chardonnay Cup St John’s Park Bowls Club	In The Raw
1557	19 Nov	Prickit	Hash wedding Civic Club	Growler
1558	26 Nov	Arsecutter	Legacy Community Park	Brazilian

See Arsecutter to lock in your trail-setting dates!

UP & CUMMING

RUN REPORT

Chardonnay’s Twinkle in the Playground Trail
15 October from Marieville Esplanade playground, Sandy Bay
Hare: Twinkletoes
Run Reporter: Grizzly

The first ‘barbecue’ run of any summer Hashing season is always a risk. As is the second. The fourth and eighth are pretty dodge, and don’t get me started on the fifteenth.

Let’s face it – this is Tasmania, and at any time of the year you face the prospect of wind coming off a snow-topped Kunanyi. Stick some extra clothes on!

As it was, the first summer run started in sunshine, and even though the temperature gauge didn’t move much past 16° for the day it still felt relatively warm as we sat around wondering where our traditional pre-Hash beer was.

Hare Twinkletoes was either preparing to give her chalk talk from on high or engaging with her inner primate as she expertly scaled one of the playground’s trees. When Twinkle failed to fling her faeces or tell us about this week’s trail, it seemed that it was neither. (Although at one point she did scratch her arse then smelled her finger, but we all do that, don’t we?) Perhaps Twinkletoes was avoiding Dyke and his near-death case of ‘man flu’. I’m surprised that Dyke even had the strength to stand – what a legend in his own lunchtime.

Instructions were brief but did contain the five magic words – “and there’s a p!ss stop”. This cheered Spoof up, although it’s always difficult to tell – he’d probably wear the same expression if you told him that he’d just trod in dog sh!t.

“Out the gate and follow flour”. Which flour though, as the streets of greater Hobart are awash with a variety of white arrows, ‘H’s and blobs, including some flour arrows on the other side of the street pointing in the opposite direction to the outward trail. It was good to see that the Dutchman’s minimalist dribble dropper stayed at home and we could follow this week’s well-marked trail without getting on our hands and knees (in traditional Chardonnay fashion, some would say).

There was some suggestion that there was a hill involved, including the one that we avoid making eye contact with lest we draw it’s attention to us. Alas, while still clinging to the lowland and to hope, we could see Maximus and Can’t Stop* powering up Bath Street toward one of the other ring-stretching parts of the hill that wasn’t Napoleon Street, but might just as well have been.

* This is how you know that this run report is not AI-generated slop†. No artificial intelligence could make up something like Can’t Stop keeping up with Maxi.

†It’s still slop, just not AI-generated.

“Maxi’s heading back down!”, came the call from somewhere in the Pack. Hope of a less-inclined trail along the Sandy Bay Rivulet swelled, but when Maxi and Can’t Stop didn’t join us back at ground zero there was just resignation. Maxi HAD come back down, but that was from a cruel false trail up one of the steep pathways meeting Colville Street, with true trail heading up the second pathway, just 15m to the left. This bore the grubby fingerprints of ‘the most hated man in Hash’ but there’s no way he could have guided the Hare in this, given that he was under 24-hour watch by a crack team of paramedics, lest his sniffle get out of control.

Trail headed along the flatter bits of Napoleon Street, with the runners just within sight to keep the front walkers interested. Herr Flick had previously noted that the tide was sufficiently low that – but for some jetty-hopping – we could have walked around the Battery Point headland. Would be even easier if there was the promised public walkway, long argued against by influential (read as ‘rich’) owners of the dozen-or-so residences who don’t fancy loud yobbos spoiling their riverside serenity. Instead we boisterously called ‘on’ along Clarke Street, just to let them know that we yobbos will not be silenced.

Up through Princes Park to Arthurs Circus, at which we found the most obsolete check ever laid on trail. Snack Bar was now at point, finding all the false trails so that the rest of the walking Pack (more on that later) could but follow in his humble munificence. (That no walker actually followed him down an FT because it was a bit obvious does not diminish his sacrifice.)

We did find TAP and Cumonion wandering around De Witt Street, following Can’t Stop as he ran in ever-decreasing circles looking for trail. This was unusual – not Can’t Stop running in circles (that’s his default mode) but seeing card-carrying NDIS Hashers so far out and still making a genuine effort to stick to trail. It was a better effort than Grassroots, Growler and Lone Arranger, who had made it as far as Shippies and had abandoned all pretense. Even Spoof, echo-locatable via his calls of ‘are you?’ (or his Bradford-esque equivalent of), was still known to be steadfastly following trail.

Then I remembered that there was a p!ss stop…

After trip-trap-traipsing down Nanny Goat Lane we meandered by the back doors of the lower Sandy Bay shopping precinct, finally arriving at the back of the Maccas’ drive-thru to a couple of well-stocked Eskys manned by Dyke, surely in line for a purple heart for bravery.

We were eventually joined by Spoof and his carer, Clearfell, and the Shipwright Three, meaning that everyone made it to the first p!ss stop of the season. Growler checked out the Maccas order board and was horrified at paying $17 for a couple of burgers and drinks, proving that she is at one with the common people. It looked very much like Hashers were settling in for more than the mandated ‘one beer and f*ck off’, until Dyke was prompted to move everyone on to consume the feast that awaited.

It was only a short walk back to the playground to finish off a good trail; well-marked and sufficiently circuitous to make it interesting.

Under failing light, held somewhat at bay by Arsecutter’s illumination (via Temu, rather than any spiritual enlightenment), we tucked into bread rolls, a variety of cold meats, salads and homemade condiments. Good food, with thanks to Twinkle and Dyke for their efforts.

The Lip Session notably featured the avatar of death – Growler – who was calling so many to ‘move to the light’. Thankfully, the days are getting longer‡.

‡ “The pedants among us will say days are still 24 hours, and it’s really Earth’s tilt and its trip around the Sun that give us more daylight during this part of the year.”
To them I say “get f*cked, smartarse”. Science.

On! On! Grizzly

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On and Uber

• Hare: Twinkletoes. Good trail, particularly nasty FT.
• Dyke: man flu must have been bad because he missed out on a free feed and two $25 prizes.
• Uber: limp (been like that for years according to Cumonion); injured in full-contact bowls, taking out Bart’s uncle and injuring himself. Rubbed out for three weeks by the judiciary.
• C*untry members: Clearfell, Brazilian and Jack Sh!t (having missed just one week).
• Can’t Stop: head job; was grey last week. Tried to pass on his nits to Wee Bev.
• Snack Bar: only had a can of Coke at the PS because he’s swatting for a liver function test tomorrow.
• Herr Flick: went to have some work done on his eye prior to driving around the mainland, but they accidentally lasered his brown eye.

• Herr Flick and Wee Bev: far cough yak hunts; off to grey nomad the mainland.
• Lone Arranger: went to Supercheap to buy a steering wheel cover for the van; Grizzly later received a marketing email from Supercheap asking “How did everything go with your CHOCOLATE CADBURY CHERRY RIPE 44G”. Sprung!
• Twinkletoes: tree hugging, or was she looking for pigeon legs to fry up on the barbecue?
• Growler: has RSI of the hand from too much pussy patting.
• Dyke & Twinkletoes: overheard in conversation about people eating with their mouths full; Twinkletoes was told to ‘suck it instead’. (I think it was something about eating jelly, but WHO CHEWS JELLY?)

Skols from the floor:

• Twinkletoes to Dyke & Uber: questioned the legality of Dyke’s crib wins while he was taking performance-enhancing drugs. Uber handed over two suspicious envelopes.

Announcements:

• Hobart Full Moon Hash Sunday 18 October, Tasmania Bushland Garden, Buckland. There is still space on the bus if you are interested in going up. Contact Lone Arranger (0429 346 266) to book a spot.

Next week’s trail:

• John Turnbull Park, Lenah Valley, as set by TAP. Run reporter, Sonar.

HASH FLASH

Photos of Run 1552

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026

GRAND MASTER	Grizzly
JOINT MASTERS	Grassroots & Slippery Nipple
ON SEC	Lone Arranger (Run reports to chardonnayh3@gmail.com by Sunday evening, please)
HASH CASH	Cumonion & In The Raw
HASH HOPS	Crusha & Topdek
TRAILMASTER	Arsecutter
HASH LIPS	Hands On & Uber
HASH FLASH	Growler
HASH HORN	Prickit