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RUN REPORT

Chardonnay Burns’ Night Trail
30 July from Alroy Court, Rosetta
Hares: Pole Dancer
Run Reporter: Clearfell

Well, CH3 has returned to areas north of the flannel curtain. This was not without some trepidation given the run report from Run 1537, which graphically described the situation around Moonah with hordes of murderers, thieves, rapists, and other undesirables. With the promise that Moonah swamp would be drained, one could but hope that these characters had not just been pushed a couple of suburbs north to Rosetta.

A number of returnees attended including Xena and Maxxi who were talking in Portuguese.

The theme of the night was The Burning, with the promise of a fiery night and the chance to incinerate all our deepest, darkest thoughts in a sacrificial burning. We were also promised a feed for the ages cooked up by Vodka Cruiser.

So what played out – Poley promised a run and a walk around Rosetta. The pack set off with runners (few in numbers being Maxxi and Wee Bev) directed out the front and to the left, and walkers to the right. Immediate confusion reigned with trail difficult to find, made worse by telling walkers to take the other right! Calm returned with the walkers actually going the right right into Chandos Drive and hence across Berriedale Road into Taree Street up to a FT, Returning to Tootonga Street. The hamster (aka Teddy) dragged Hands On and Brazilian downhill in Anne Street to Catherine Street. Under the Brooker Highway next to Berriedale the pack had spread out as it followed Main Road and Strathaven Drive. The front runners and walkers proceeded to another FT requiring a backtrack to the walkway under the Brooker. This tunnel provided much opportunity for loud echoing ON ON calls by Herr Flick which could be heard in Moonah (hoping none of those Moonah undesirables would respond).

The trail dissected Driscoll Street Reserve (this was not for Growler and Uber who hashed back to the ON ON. The trail calls echoed in the surrounding hills as Clearfell stopped to water the grass next to Jacques Creek. Having lost contact with the pack, Clearfell opted not to search for trail which obviously went further up hill and hashed back to Poley’s abode.

At the ON ON, we were greeted by not One, not Two, but Three fire pots pumping toxins from treated pine into the atmosphere. A great feast was indeed supplied by Vodka Cruiser follower by the lip session and the highlight of the night, The Burning. A North-Melbourne-coloured big C, adorned by those paper offerings, were sacrificed to the fire pots ably stoked by Spoof and Herr Flick to such an extent that they continued to burn throughout the night.  

Thanks to Poley for a good run and to Vodka Cruiser for her catering!

Clearfell

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On & Uber

• Pole Dancer (Hare) and assistants Gingernuts and Vodka Cruiser. “Pretty good trail”, “Too many hills” and “Not enough FTs”. 
• Wee Bev: lost her driver license (again) and bank cards. Found down the crack of a sofa.
• Snack Bar: infrequent patron but won the Lenah Valley RSL meat raffle. Later the manager contacted Uber to ask if he knew a “mole” because there was a meat tray in the fridge labelled ‘MOL’.
• Pole Dancer: expecting a pandemic? Three cartons of toilet rolls in the garage! (We knew he was full of shit.)
• Hooray, Slippery Nipple, Old Goat, Mrs Shithead, Xena and Maximus: c*untry members.
• Spoof: trying the old ‘tap the bank card against a notepad’ trick to avoid paying.
• Growler and Cumonion: members of the Hobart Gardening Club, pilfering plants from all around Hobart.

• Crusha: parking fail. Parked on Poley’s lawn instead of on the street.
• Herr Flick & Wee Bev: Eastern Shore Shack Owners stayed away from last week’s trail because of enormous waves engulfing the bridge. Stayed home to celebrate International Shiraz Day instead.
• Snack Bar: collapsed table at the LV RSL – too much food on his plate.
• In The Raw: facing an ACCC enquiry after charging $25 for a $20 run.
• Xena and Maximus: need more Portuguese language lessons – Xena thought that she was ordering two glasses of crap wine, but ended up with two bottles of crap wine.
• Vodka Cruiser: alcohol abuse.
• Vodka Cruiser: thanks for the full bellies (and plenty of leftovers).
• In The Raw and Snack Bar: now regarded as the ‘Bourke and Wills’ of Chardonnay Hash.

Next week’s trail:

• Maypole Hotel, New Town, as set by TopDek.

HASH FLASH

Photos of Run 1540

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026