RECEDING HARELINE

See Arsecutter to lock in your trail-setting dates!

UP & CUMMING

RUN REPORT

Chardonnay’s Bowl Cut Trail
17 September from Taroona Bowls and Community Club
Hare: Can’t Stop
Run Reporter: Jack Sh!t

12 months ago, to the day, I wrote the run report for Can’t Stop’s run from the Taroona Bowls Club and I quote –

Amazingly for a Can’t Stop run many compliments flowed regarding both the length and topography of the walk.
Chardonnay Bugle run 1491, 18 September 2025

My how 12 months is a long time in Hashing as this run was, at best, well, typically Can’t Stop.

Perhaps it was the jet lag. Perhaps he still had the shits. Perhaps Prickit refused to help. Whichever, it became a game of find the trail. This – together with gatecrashing Taroona High’s Spring Arts Festival (I looked it up) – spoiled what could have been a pleasant walk around suburbia.

Thankfully, back at the bowls club, Should Know provided ample Fish and Chips which saved the night from total disaster.

Perhaps Can’t Stop should have taken a leaf from his own book and bought everyone a drink as per his 66th birthday. Although, now 67 and possibly an aged pensioner, he may not be able to afford it.

On On to the footy jumper run and Grand Final day!  (Don’t forget to do the quiz!)

Yours in Hashing
Jack Shit

DOWN DOWNS

Lip: Hands On & Uber

• Hare: Can’t Stop a very predictable run/walk.
• In The Raw: Didn’t remember it was a $20 run and was charging $5.00!
• Cuntry Members: Prickit, Can’t Stop and Dyke
• Dyke: last hasher in despite being a gun walker. Some dodgy excuse about lights being on in a car.
• Dyke: rummaging in the skip bin for his dinner.

• Milestone: Sonar 200 runs.
• Growler: has many bowls trophies, including one for excellent ball skills.
• Can’t Stop: happy birthday f#ck you. He’s now of pension age.
• Can’t Stop: nice new shiny orange ute. He can’t understand Chinese Siri and she can’t understand him.

• Growler: went to a footy function at RSL and wanted little savs as she said she couldn’t handle a big one.
• Growler: stated she’s still looking for a younger pussy.
• Cummonion and Maximus: The Reject shop now sells NZ lollies, but the names are a completely different language.
• Snack Bar: got very excited as all the women we’re coming through the bar with their yoga mats.
• Should Know and his Apprentice: thanks for running the bar and providing food.
• Can’t Stop: issues with luggage not turning up, having gastro and ran out of undies.
• Hands On: f#ck off for bike ride.

Skols from the floor:

• Dyke from In The Raw: “I know where trail goes”, but was last Hasher in.
• Uber from Herr Flick: on trail was asking “where does the trail go”? Only to be told it was under his feet. He was standing on arrows and W and R.
• Can’t Stop from Jack Shit: organised his run to go right through Taroona High where there was a function on. Students and parents everywhere and dirty old Hashers.
• Snack Bar from Arsecutter: next week’s run supposed to be from TCA ground, but he forgot to ring up and ask. So now the run is from his place.

Announcements:

• If you can’t get there on Grand Final and you want to do the quiz then bring your $2 to next week’s run and see Chris Miss.
• Grand Final day run: Civic Club 1130 for 1200 start. Run/walk, piss stop, food provided, cost $10 and buy your own drinks from the bar.

Next week’s trail:

• Taroona Bowls and Community Club, as set by Can’t Stop. Run reporter, Jacques le Poo.

HASH FLASH

Photos of Run 1547

MISMANAGEMENT CUMMITTEE 2026